#eyes and being able to exist in a different lane i mean

[fibbib]

I want Shadow Milk Cookie to have a perfect child syndrome.

"But doesn't Raspberry/Creme Brulle Cookie already have that-" Okay. well- then i want him to have a musicman syndrome.

[creepycranberry]

Same people different circumstances: Pt 2

Pt 1

Warnings: not proofread, baby babble, flying toys, fluff, not proofread

——————————

You and Eddie had fallen into a rhythm, he came over most weeknights for dinner and would sometimes stay over when he accidentally stayed too late.

He would usually sleep on the couch or on the recliner chair in the nursery if Winnie was being particularly fussy. It was nice to have him around again, though the question of what your relationship was hung heavy over the both of you. You ignored it for the most part but late afternoons were spent watching Winnie and Eddie exist together like it was so natural and sometimes, just for a moment, you let yourself believe that nothing had ever happened. This was just how things were, this was the life you got to live.

Eddie had been around plenty of kids, but this was slightly different. Because babies weren’t technically yet kids. Steve’s son was about three months younger than Winnie. He wasn’t talking yet, he said baby babble and that was it.

Winnie had certain words down.

Her new favorite being “no.”

Every opportunity she had to use this new fancy word she took. Whether it was a whine over it being bedtime or a simple answer to a question or a shriek when bath time inevitably came around, no was said. No was said with such vigor that somehow it managed to cancel out the no’s she was told by you and Eddie.

And a no mixed with her now being able to walk was almost impossible to deal with at times.

It was a bath time tantrum that caused a slight emotional breakdown for you.

Eddie had a date tonight, which already put you in a somewhat sour mood, despite the fact that you were the one to suggest it.

You felt bad that he was giving you so much of his life, and while he didn’t mind it was eating away at you. You guys weren’t a couple and you weren’t exactly at a point in life where dating was a priority and you wanted him to be able to have fun and go out. It wasn’t fair that you keep him with you to help take care of your kid.

So he was out with Delia, who he had met at work when she went to get some maintenance done on her car.

You had found her number in his wallet when grabbing some cash to tip a pizza guy the other week and you had encouraged him to call her.

And now both you and your daughter were in a sour mood due to his absence.

She had already all but refused her dinner, but what she did decide to eat was mushed into her shirt so you had told her it was time for a bath And now you were sitting on your bathroom floor while Winnie repeatedly said, “no mommy! No baf!” While she played with her bath toys on the floor.

“Come on, baby, please?”

She shook her head, her signature pout finding its way to her lips as she began to cry in frustration.

“No baf mommy!” She insisted and you sighed.

“What do I have to do to get you to take a bath, Winnie-Bear?” You asked and she huffed.

“No Baf!” She reiterated and you groaned.

“Come on, baby, take a bath and then we can watch Bambi or Eeyore and then Eddie will be here to put you to bed and tuck you in and read you a story.” Winnie shakes her head again, “Winifred Lane you need to take a bath!” You snap and her bottom lip juts out and she begins sniffling.

“I’m sorry, baby, I just need you to-“ you’re interrupted by a Little People Horse figurine hitting you in the eye.

“Mean mommy.” She wails.

You can’t help but cry too.

Throwing was another addition she had discovered recently but she hadn’t quite gotten the concept of aim. It was likely she hadn’t meant I throw it at you, she was just frustrated and didn’t know what to do with it.

And the rational part of you knows that but the shock of it causes you to start crying too, covering your eye.

You simply stand up, trying to hide your misty eyes from Winnie as you walk out of the bathroom, leaving her standing there, wailing.

And That was the moment Eddie just had to walk through the door.

“What’s Wrong? Where’s Winnie?” He asks immediately, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe the tears from your cheeks but you don’t want it. You’re too overwhelmed, you don’t want to be touched or talked to or to hear your baby sobbing from the other room.

So you just point to the bathroom and then walk around him.

When Eddie goes into the bathroom Winnie is red in the face and crying so hard she can barely breathe.

“Aw, sweetheart.” He mumbles, “breaking my heart.”

He sits on the floor by her and holds out his arms, she climbs into his lap and sobs into his chest. He tries to sooth her the best he can, patting her back and humming ‘Winnie Lane is in my ears and in my eyes’

He stands to pace around the small bathroom, continuing to pat her back.

“What’s wrong, girlie?” He asks her.

“Me-mean mommy.” She sobs.

Eddie shakes his head, “she’s not mean, baby, she’s just tired. I think you’re a little tired too.”

The mere suggestion makes her worse, “no daddy! No bed!”

Eddie freezes, “you don’t have to go to bed yet, baby.”

She looks up at him with her red face and dramatic pout and Eddie melts, holding her as close as possible, “and I’m Eddie. Not Daddy. I know they sound similar but they aren’t-“

“No.” She shakes her head, still hiccuping a little but calmed at the knowledge that she’s not yet being sent to bed. She points a chubby finger at his chest, “daddy.”

She says it like it’s the most obvious thing.

“Sweetheart, why are you calling me that?” Eddie smiles.

“Mamá Lena.”

The old Cuban woman must have just assumed. She had always liked Eddie so it made sense he supposed.

“Do you want to color?” He asks her, changing the subject in hopes of distracting her so he can check on you.

She nods and almost throws herself out of his arms.

He sets her up in her high chair with a coloring book and some crayons, helping her pick out a coloring page before quietly heading down the hall to the bedroom.

The lights are off but Eddie can make out the faint outline of the bundle of blankets on the bed, the unmistakable snuffles coming from it make his heart squeeze.

“Sweetheart?” He coos softly to you but you just sniffle again. He sits on the bed, kicking his shoes off before putting his feet on the bed cause he knows it drives you crazy, “come on, can you sit up for me?” He reaches to the nightstand and flicks on the lamp.

You peek your head out of the blanket and he frowns at your tear streaked cheeks and at the one eye that seems redder than the other.

“What happened, sweetheart?” Eddie says softly, wiping away your tears with his thumb and moving your hair out of your face.

“She just got so upset, I just wanted her to take a bath but she was fussing and whining and I snapped at her and she started to cry and she threw a toy at me and it kind of shocked me and I just couldn’t do it and then you got here and I must’ve looked like the worst mom in the world but I just-“

“Hey,” he scooches closer to hold you better and you rest your forehead on his bicep,”you’re a great mom, you just got a little overwhelmed and I wasn’t here to help like normal, it’s okay.”

You scrunch your eyebrows together, “why are you back so early?”

Eddies eyes widen and he avoids your gaze, “just got tired.”

“Eddie.”

He sighs, “I hated it. She was great, she was fun to talk to but then I just kept talking about Winnie and I hated leaving the two of you here and disrupting Winnie’s normal and by the end she just told me to go home.”

“I’m sorry.” You mumble, picking at your thumb nail.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I feel like I somehow ruined your date.”

“You did no such thing.” Eddie sighs, “and from what I can tell it’s good that I came home when I did. Apparently all hell breaks loose when I leave for too long.”

You scoff and roll your eyes, allowing yourself to lean into him a little bit more, “we did miss you though.”

“I missed you, too. Let’s get some ice on your eye.”

“It’s fine, Ed's, it's not even that bad.” You shrug, wiping your nose with your sleeve.

“Nope. Just in case.” Eddie stands up and holds your hands to pull you up into a standing position.

You groan but get up and he holds your hand all the way down the hall.

“Mommy!” Winnie’s little arms reach out to you and you pick her up, holding her close.

“Hey, Winnie-girl.”

Eddie walks up to the both of you with a cold pack, inspecting your eye, “she’s got quite the arm. Should sign her up for softball.”

“And let her get a concussion or sprain her ankle? Over my dead body.”

Eddie chuckles and shakes his head, holding the ice pack to your eye. Winnie reaches out to see what he’s got, jumping at the temperature.

“It’s cold, Winnie-bear.” Eddie informs her, using your nickname for her.

The three of you migrate to the couch, Eddie holding Winnie, “she still needs a b-a-t-h.” You sigh.

“Maybe it’ll go smoother with the both of us.” Eddie offers and you shrug.

“Maybe. Hey Winnie? How about that bath, baby?”

Immediately she pouts, looking at Eddie to save her. When he doesn’t do anything she wraps her little arms around his neck and holds on tight, trying to distract him with a cuddle.

“Come on, after your bath I can read you a story and we can cuddle in your chair.” Eddie says and she shakes her head, “well then I guess you don’t want the new story I got you.” He sighs, “oh well. Maybe I can it read it to mommy since you wrong want to-“

“Baf, mommy?” Winnie perks up and you smile.

“Come on baby.”

She lets you give her a bath and dry her off. She picks out her pajamas and then pulls herself up into her chair, looking at Eddie expectantly, “sto-y, daddy?”

You look at Eddie with raised eyebrows, “daddy?”

“Uh, yeah I uh- miss Lena said something I guess. I tried to correct her earlier but she said no and-”

“So long as you stick around I don’t give a damn what she calls you.” You assure him, leaning your head into his shoulder, “that’s all up to her.”

Eddie nods and maintains eye contact with you until Winnie lets out an impatient huff.

“I’m coming, Winnie Lane.” He smiles, swooping her up into his arm and attacking her chubby cheek with little kisses.

You leave so he can put her to bed.

——-

After about a half hour Eddie wanders into your room, eyes slightly droopy. You scorch over to give him room and he flops down on the bed next to you.

“Come here often?” He quips, laying on his side with his head resting on his hand.

You laugh and shake your head, “not at all.”

“Damn. So I just got lucky, huh?”

“I guess so.” You shrug.

“How’s your eye?”

“It’s alright. It doesn’t hurt. I don’t think it will bruise.”

“That’s good.”

“How was the date other than what you told me?” You inquire and Eddie exhales deeply, leaning back onto your headboard.

“It wasn’t bad. She was fun to talk to, the restaurant was nice. She could just tell that I had missed you and Winnie and she was sweet about it, but she told me that maybe dating wasn’t something I wanted to do right now.” He explains and you nod.

“So I guess you’re done with dating for the moment?”

“No.” Eddie shakes his head and you involuntarily pout.

“What do you mean? You said you hated leaving Winnie and that you just needed to-”

“Well I figure if I’m dating Winnie’s mom I’ll get to see her more.” He shrugs, a sly grin overtaking his features.

You pause slightly for a moment, you feel the blush creep into your cheeks and you have to really try not to stutter when you clarify, “Was that an ask out?”

“Depends on whether or not you’d say yes.” Eddie smiles, fiddling with his rings.

“yes.” You say a bit too quickly for you liking, “I mean- yeah, sure.” You think for a second more, “but if it doesn’t work out you have to still be there for Winnie. I would forgive my-“

“I'm not gonna leave you sweetheart. And I would never dream of leaving her.” Eddie reassures you, pulling you closer into him and kissing the top of your head.

He doesn’t say the rest of what he’s thinking, which is that he had spent a year just wishing to have you back. There was no chance he would be letting you go anytime soon, or ever.

You nod and look up at him, wide eyed and smiley.

He looks back at you the same way and leans down, kissing you on the cheek.

You pout a little and Eddie smiles, knowing where Winnie got that habit from, “what?”

“Eddie?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can you grow a pair and kiss me for real?” You sigh and Eddie laughs.

“Nothing I’d rather do, sweet girl.”

He leans down and brushes your lips with his, you can feel his grin and smell his cologne and shampoo.

You wanted to bathe in that smell, to have it around you all the time.

And Eddie would gladly make sure you could always have right there with you. He would always make sure that he was right there with you.

[aldefi1]

Feb 27. Starbuck, 241 pm, 6th Avenue between 57 and 58th St, spies very present, spy couple arrived after me and seats near me, I’m to the right wearing the headphones. Kissing spy couples, holding hands spies and hugging. This kind of harassment, as many other CIA operations are designed to be carried out before everyone’s eyes, anywhere, without anyone noticing a thing. Documentary: “Standard Operating Procedure”, 47 minutes, 41 seconds into the film, in this film you see a seemingly innocent act, a couple kissing, being performed in front of a prisoner, as the senior interrogator says, it has nothing to do with obtaining valuable information. Before I started to video record as much as I could, spy couples, kissing spy couples, holding hands spy couples, and hugging spies, would appear everywhere I went, even more than nowadays, specially, at the exit and near of an exit, of every business I’d visit. Also, at the corridor next to my apartment’s door, and at the building’s entrance or near by, these spy couples, also place themselves in easy to see places, such as corners, hence, when I bike, I’d not miss noticing them, many of them at the bikers’ lane walking towards me as I ride. As soon I started to video record, the numbers decreased slightly, they went down further, when I started to post these videos in the net, but as you can see, it keeps happening. Additionally, in eighty percent of the cases, this spy couple is followed by a single female. You might find this type of harassment as either innocuous, or non existing, as a “crazy person” imagining things, an act of aggression is very easy to discern, if someone punch you or push you. Therefore, what the spy network does, is to print in the mind of the victim, an inoffensive act, as an aggressive one, by repeating the specific action over, and over, and over, until the victim sees it, as an aggression. It is based on the “shell shock” syndrome, a person who return from war after being traumatized by very large explosions might find himself jumping at the slightest noise, if you do not know what happened to this person, you might think, “what is wrong with this guy?”, he is not well, he might be “nuts”. Hence, the spies by using this principle, pick up something harmless, let’s say, the orange color, thus, the orange color starts to appear wherever the victim/target goes, orange vehicles are parked near his home, persons wearing clothing items, such as hats, sneakers of that color, appearing everywhere, until he sees a carrot at a supermarket, and start trembling. One day, the victim cannot take it anymore, and does something stupid against someone, specially an old spy or a spy teenager, or anyone perceived by the public as part of a vulnerable group, wearing orange. The results is, the victim goes to jail and from there to a psychiatric institution, by using this method and dozens of others, specially those involving sex and financial related situations that might or might not be crimes, this network clear the path to place its people, in the press, and in positions of authority at every institution or company. This network operates in large scale, in every country, in lesser degree though, in those countries the “free” press qualifies as ruled by “evil” governments. This network is old, precede the CIA and the FBI by decades or longer. I started to video recording everything I could, for fear no one would believe me, if I didn’t do so, also for fear of being framed, and not having any means to back up my version. To be able to explain that things happened in a very different way that the spies want the public to see it.

[flickeringart]

Uranus in the houses

Descriptions could be relevant for houses with the cusp in Aquarius or houses that contain Aquarius

1st house: This house is related to self-image, persona and outwardly projected identity. It represents the point of entrance into the world, the point of birth and emergence from the undifferentiated source as a singular entity. Uranus here points to someone that is not very happy with the denseness of physicality. The person is restless and fidgety, running on high voltage. It’s almost as if there’s more energy to the person than is able to integrate into their being. The person could be impulsive and might give off a vibe of wanting to “level up”, get out of the old and jump on board with the new. Coming into life might’ve been particularly jarring for the individual in one way or another. Perhaps the birth was abrupt and unexpected, fast and overwhelming. Since the 1sthouse represents beginnings, this person might find himself or herself thrown into new contexts and situations rapidly without much time to lean into things slowly. There’s something within that can’t stand how things are and must uproot and move on but it’s questionable if there ever was any rootedness to begin with. The energy of the person runs high, but it’s unpredictable and unreliable. It can prove difficult for this person to follow conventional norms, not necessarily because the motivation is lacking but because there’s an inexplicable urge to switch things up and change gear. Changing gear is a good metaphor for Uranus in general because once you’ve changed you’re on a completely different level of experience. This kind of person is in their own lane, going at their own pace in their own way. While “in the mode” one can accomplish a lot of things by virtue of being in a certain mind frame but once the mind frame changes the behavior and patterns of action are conducive to something else. The person is predictable to an extent, but there’s no way of knowing how long that “mode” will last. One is showing up in life from a certain standpoint but that standpoint might alter and then there’s nothing anyone can do about it – conforming is not something that is easily done for this type of individual. No amount of pushing or coercing from others will get the person out of their state. It’s a little bit like trying to reach an airplane by stretching one’s arms up and shouting. Once the person has “switched” there’s little connection to the previous context. It can be exciting to be around these individuals because they have the ability to switch the way they present themselves to the world by getting into completely different states of being on the flip of a dime. Needless to say it can also be unnerving. They come off as charming, a bit distant, quirky, somewhat irrational but stubbornly determined, completely unique and original. They can come off as detached from reality and fixed in their own perspectives. They are distinctly more open and easy to be oneself with than most.

2nd house: This house is related to value, safety and control on a tangible level. It has to do with one’s talents and one’s ability to generate wealth, to acquire money and possessions. Uranus in this house can make a person experience unpredictability when it comes to their income. It might be difficult for this person to create stability because of the inexplicable urge to break out of limiting structures regardless of the safety they provide. The person might find themselves in circumstances where it’s impossible to find a foothold in the world; there might be constant ambivalence around how things are going to work out financially and materially. This is the type of person that could have a lot going for them one month and then suddenly everything is switched up and there’s no longer any desire to produce or put innate abilities to use. The person probably has great potential for living a life that is on the edge, waiting for sudden bursts of energy or insight to kick in in order to be able to have it all under control again. The annoying thing is, that one can’t predict when the impulse comes or when the light bulb goes off. There’s no way of knowing how things are going to work out over time because Uranus is an extremely erratic and disruptive planet. There’s a risk of not being the least bit practical with this placement, seeing as Uranus operates on a higher plane of thought progression rather than personal security and stability in the material realm. The risk is to be too ahead of oneself, acting on premature convictions and causing unnecessary unease because one can’t stand to keep doing the same thing. “Isn’t money an outdated concept already?” Uranus in the 2nd might be too progressive in their thought patterns and too concerned with the possibility of a better system of doing things in order to align with conventional structure. These types may be the first one’s to subscribe to new ways of earning a living, more exciting and evolved methods of putting one’s skills to use. Doing things the same way for years, working in the same place, saving money or playing it safe might not be in the cards for this person. In the extreme case, this person might get rid of all their personal possessions only because they felt bored and deemed them outdated and boring. There could be perpetual dissatisfaction with the material situation since Uranus is about potential more then manifested reality. Once everything imagined is actualized, it no longer holds any value in the person’s mind. Uranus certainly keeps the person in constant pursuit of the future, but the future never comes, as we all know. Visualizing the perfect meal or getting an idea for the perfect way to decorate the living room might be very satisfying but when seen in the “flesh” it all seems very unappealing. It’s difficult to satisfy Uranus in the 2nd, but it’s a positive thing in the sense that it keeps the person reaching for the ultimate physical translation of the perfect thought version. One could be prone to be unintentionally careless with material objects, causing breakage easily and wearing things out because of the unrealistic expectations on the physical objects somehow survive despite themselves and their frailty.

3rd house: This house relates to communication, interaction with the environment, siblings, neighbors, as well as learning and early education. It’s basically the house of everyone and everything that one relates to mentally on a daily basis. Uranus makes for quite a highly charged mental sphere being placed here. There’s potentially a lot of changes and disruptions of the way one is interacting from day to day – it’s difficult to fit in or mold oneself to the pace and jargon of one’s close circle. The person might have a lot of unusual or unconventional methods of relating and is prone to bewilder and stir people up. It might be difficult to make friends, or rather, keep them, because of the unreliable pattern of relating. However, there’s the promise of being very exciting and surprising. Because Uranus is so characteristic of creative freedom this type of person might be a bit of a loner. One needs to be or do whatever one wants even if it means disrupting the status quo. The mold that conventional education forces on individuals might not work well with this kind of person. There needs to be more freedom and openness for originality and rapid changes of pace. This is the kind of person that is rebellious without trying to be, unable to relate in a consistent manner. One lacks boundaries for how to be in and conceive of the environment, which makes for potentially genius ways of operating and thinking. Albert Einstein had this placement (according to astrotheme.com) and his observation and ability to step out of the boundaries of conditioned thinking led him to great discoveries. Learning is done through lightning speed in bursts of insight with this placement. Lightning strikes from above and an idea has hatched that other people have a hard time understanding. These people might prefer being observers of people and the environment rather than actively engaging. They might relate to things with a cold and seemingly uncaring energy. This is because the mind is very far up in the sky of potentials and ideas, far removed from the fixed and permanent reality of the earth plane. Other people might feel as if they’re being related to as concepts rather than physically manifested beings. The very thing that makes these people revolutionary thinkers (and creative odd balls) will perhaps get them into difficulties when trying to adapt and fit into the environment they find themselves in. Since the 3rd house is about communication, these people might dress contrary or despite of the norm, use body language that is a bit eye-catching, and appear in a way that’s considered to be shocking and provocative. It’s not necessarily that they’re trying to be different; it’s just that they have very open minds and doesn’t see the purpose of performing within limits. If an idea and concept appeals, it’s not any less valid than the preexisting set of unspoken rules of conformity. Blending in is too boring and dull, it doesn’t allow for free thinking and free living.

4th house: This house relates to roots, family, home and the ancestral past. It’s the place at the bottom of the chart, hidden from view, constituting relational foundation, our emotional base, our heritage and sense of deep belonging. When Uranus is here, home is potentially something distant, something that is more conceptual and abstract rather than concrete. The sense of belonging isn’t very stable. Although it can be captured every now and then it is very ambivalent. Usually one’s sense of home is anywhere and everywhere or perhaps so far removed from reality that it doesn’t seem to exist at all. The people of one’s family and family past are experienced as individuals, not as inextricable marks on one’s soul. In a sense, the universe is these people’s home, they might feel unusually connected to the people of the world and deriving their sense of containment from larger movements and units rather than the family of origin. They’re children of the universe first and foremost – perhaps very much inclined to find people they really feel connected to and make them their base rather than focusing too much on the blood relatives. These people might change residence often, feeling too restless to settle anywhere or with anyone for too long. It’s likely that the people of one’s family were never truly present even they were in close proximity physically during the formative years. The family is never “had” in the real world, but ever present in the realm of potential. It can make for a dissatisfaction to never be able to be in the same space or feel any real emotional closeness to one’s family. Unpredictability and disruption might’ve been characteristic of the familial sphere. On a more positive note there could’ve been a space of high openness and room for unconventional and highly original streaks. Independence might be deeply rooted in this type of person who might be trying to find a connection to a deeper identity through going against the grain. Again, being a “rebel” is not necessarily intentionally pursued; it’s just a consequence of needing to be whatever one feels to constitute the path forward. Conforming is not an option, it’s deeply important to ride the wave of one’s own convictions and insights no matter how risky or unsettling it might be. “Breaking the rules” is not done out of aggression per se, it’s done because being a game changer establishes a connection with one’s soul, the archetypal father and hero myth. The 4th house is where legacies are born and carried out. Uranus is the legacy of the sky god, the creator of the universe, the maker of the blueprint, which makes these people extremely invested in progression and tuned in to the winds of change. They might be keen to generate large movements toward a cause, more in love with the expectancy than the actual manifestation of the results.

5th house: This house relates to entertainment, leisure activities, uninhibited self-expression, creativity, play, romance and children. Basically, it’s the domain of anything that is done purely to have fun and enjoy life. When Uranus is active in this sphere, there’s detachment and innovative genius in approach to play. The person might have unusual ways of finding pleasure and enjoyment that is quite different from the norm. It’s also done with an urge to construct something of novelty, something fresh and exciting that hasn’t been experienced before. Playing around with the potential of doing something or exploring possibilities mentally might be a real thrill for these types. Ideas make these people excited, especially if it’s advanced and revolutionary and can be applied universally. These people are creative thinkers and have fun when catching some wind and can elevate above the ground for a while in their minds. When they can get to a place that feels elevated in terms of concept and ideas they are having the time of their lives. There’s an urge of wanting to express something profound and precious in the mental realm – to arrive at a conceptual point of perfection. Having children could be a very appealing idea, but one would do well to remember that the idea is more appealing than the actuality – especially when it comes to Uranus. The person might take an intellectual approach to having kids, insistent on doing things as properly as possible according to modern scientific discoveries – or simply according to one’s own “elevated” objective perspective. One aims to be progressive, not only with one’s children but also in romantic pursuits. These people might have a slightly odd style of courting their love interests, certainly well thought-through but a bit special in the sense that it has an unexpected element to it. There might be a feeling of not being seen in the present “here-and-now” by these people, being treated as a component in their mental narrative of the ultimate romantic situation. In any case, Uranus in the 5th certainly takes the experience of “having fun” to the next level in terms of planning and visualizing something unique and new. One might shock a few people in the process, some may like it and some may recoil from the strangeness of it all. It is possible to completely revolutionize entertainment with this placement, coming up with something that people haven’t experienced before, going a little overboard or testing the waters of what is acceptable. If it’s paired with enough finesse and good -will, one might be warmly received as someone who can be perform something that wouldn’t seem to belong on this plane of existence. That being said, it that which is foreign and unfamiliar is not always welcomed with open arms. It’s scary – and people might want to censor one’s self-expression.

6th house: This house relates to work, employment, the practical daily activities that needs to be performed in order to sustain health and well-being over time. This house is where one manages the technicalities and details of living in order to make the expression of life more pure, clean and organized. Uranus here can’t stand routine, which might cause the individual to be unable to stick to any routine or prior commitment. There’s a deep urge to break free from that which has become tedious and unexciting and one has no way of knowing when that famous restlessness is going to kick in. The person might go a long time doing the same things, keeping the same job or sticking to a set routine but it’s never because one does so consciously, it just happens to be the “mode” one is in for the time being. It could switch at any time and the individual might find it impossible to keep doing things the same way. One has to follow the spark of inspiration because it literally goes off like lightning and won’t be denied. This might not be comfortable for the conscious self that might be adamant about sticking to a set plan and operating out of reason. There’s not much to do than to trust and hope for the best with this placement. What one should do on a given day is not set in stone, even if one attempts to be very structured and conscious of what is being done. There’s a stronger push-and-pull force that dictates the daily activities. Some days there’s a lot of energy to put into projects and chores and work and some days are void of electric charge all together. Some days one is on fire and on others there’s no energy left at all. It’s wise to take advantage of the spurs when they come and work with the erratic pattern of energetic bursts because they might prove very useful. On a more negative note, the high productivity that can be generated by Uranus in this house might lead to burn out because of the high voltage of the planet. Exhaustion might be a high risk and all the related physical symptoms that come with it, since the 6th house rules physical (and mental) health. There might be temporary ills and pains that come and go – sickness might come from “out of the blue” and then disappear without apparent reason. The body might require very specific and unexpected nourishment and one might do well to yield to the impulses and insights received in the name of health. Keeping up unconventional dietary habits could be a thing, experimentation and change in the way one manages necessary activities such as eating, sleeping and exercising would be typical of this placement. Employment might also be irregular and unconventional in some way – working odd shifts and hours, having no set schedule, having undefined and unspecified tasks, not being able to go by anyone else’s guidance etc. Uranus in the 6th would have a hard time working “for” someone because of the strong emphasis on freedom and space, it can only be done if there’s complete integrity in the subordinate position, in which case one is really not subordinate at all. There’s no such thing as obligation, there’s only modes of being, which are set and carried out. These people could be very concerned with health and daily life as an experiment, like observers studying phenomena in order to get a grip of all the intricacies and details in order to change and explore potential. The boldness of experimentation can of course get out of hand and turn destructive, so one ought to be careful.

7th house: This house relates to other people, cooperation, union and commitment. Usually that which is in the 7th in the chart is projected onto other people and sought after through engagement with “that which is other”. It’s through looking to other people that the planet is discovered in one’s own life. When Uranus is here, innovation, change and genius is encountered through cooperation and deals, whether it’s marriage, business or any other social declaration of entanglement. Uranus is discovered through the consideration of other people and their perspectives. This type of person has a very liberal and open attitude to other people and is focused on progress and change as to make things better for the sake of social well-being and harmony. It’s no wonder that successful politicians have this placement such as Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Angela Merkel (as found on astrotheme.com). One is inclined to be open and insightful in relationships, detached, rational and impersonal. Emotional bonds could be difficult to form and stability in relationships could be hard to come by for these people. Somehow, other people might get up and leave for no reason and there’s no way of being sure that anyone will stay, especially not out of dependence. This kind of person is going to have to be in partnerships that allows for a lot of freedom of expression, to the point of there not being any ties that bind at all. Uranus has such force and charge that nothing is going to go according to convention. Everything is going to be a bit odd and erratic in relationships, for better or for worse. Saying “I love you” is never a guarantee for life-long commitment because the next day Uranus might’ve switched gears and the person has fallen out of love – not by choice of course, but because the feeling is gone and the mental frame is completely different suddenly. These people crave excitement and looks for it in others. They would find people who strictly lives inside the “box” of convention to be extremely boring and painfully narrow minded. If cooperation and engagement with others doesn’t bring some kind of fresh and new perspective, if it doesn’t feel exhilarating and revolutionary, one might not be able to stick around for too long. In the case of Uranus being projected on other people and not realized as part of oneself, one might be shook by other’s unpredictable and jerky behavior. One might see potential, genius and originality in others but fail to recognize it in oneself. The great ideas and insights that come from engaging with others might add a lot to the person’s life, but one might also feel sad that these qualities are absent outside of a social context. There’s no need for this of course, because Uranus will always have to be accessed through the house that it’s placed in. On a more negative note, people with this placement might scorn and reject others for being so “up in the clouds”, inconsiderate and individualistic. “Other people are so unpredictable and unreliable” might be the narrative, when in reality one is failing to recognize the same tendencies within oneself.

8th house: This house relates to the deep end of experience, death of all kinds and transformative yet traumatic experiences. It’s related to everything that is hidden, the most private, intimate and vulnerable dimensions of life, which includes shared finances and sex as byproducts of strong emotional attachment. Uranus here makes for potentially shocking discoveries of grim, taboo or soul-shattering realities about oneself or other people. Death of loved ones, random inheritances or unforeseen debt could surface from seemingly out of nowhere in the strangest of ways. However, one might be able to deal with it in an objective and detached manner without getting too drenched and sunk by the whole experience. A lot of things related to the most intimate sphere could change very quickly without a moments notice. The most personal and deep dimensions of life are never stable for this person - but the transformation is not that severe since there’s a simultaneous distance and objectivity in one’s way of relating to death and crises. Uranus here is a bit of a contra-intuitive placement because there’s coolness in the face of the most soul-shattering experiences. It’s as if this person is looking at everything but is never completely enmeshed in the emotions surrounding it all. Objectivity and rationality is sought in order to keep things light and up in the mental realm of clarity. The transformations this person goes through are quick and life altering, at the speed of light everything is turned upside down. There’s openness and fascination for everything occult and one might have quite an alarming universal perspective in personal and deep emotional matters. Death is related to primarily as a concept – and so is intimacy. Tying oneself to another can be done, but the risk of doing so is understood from a higher perspective. It’s easy to get into states of paranoia, fearing that important attachment will be broken because there’s a push for change from below the surface. When Uranus is in the 8th, socially/societally divergent behavior might lurk in the basement of the psyche and carefully kept out of sight from the conscious self and the rest of the world. Certain impulses and urges that don’t fit into a preconceived framework might be suppressed because of early conditioning and fear of losing something or someone. These people have the capacity to get a broad and clear view of the darkest facets of life and humanity with revolutionary insights into the depths of the psyche. There’s excitement in probing deeper and uncovering more and more through personal experience but also from looking into other people’s lives, what they invest in, support and might hide from view in order to stay in control and protect their interests. These people look for the unexpected and can therefore spot things that others don’t because they’re not blinded by the veil of convention.

9th house: This house relates to knowledge that is gained through experience and exploration. It’s the house of higher learning and the intuitive search for truth. It’s the house of exploring themes and patterns through life; in essence it’s the house of studying the archetypal realm. With Uranus here, there are bound to be life-altering discoveries and insights into the themes of life, how energies express themselves through the collective and what they ultimately mean in the context of life as a whole. There might be a strong push to discover the meaning behind things in order to change it and work with it to elevate humanity in the process – especially as it relates to the mental framework of people. One might be inclined to share one’s progressive perspective and insight in order to educate people and have them get more out of life that way. Belief systems and innate knowing can be thrown out the window with this placement and replaced in a heartbeat. Other people might be confused as to what one really thinks because it depends on what gear one is driving on at the moment but it could change at any time. There’s restlessness and a strong urge to look to the future for answers and reject the “old”. Openness to experience the strangest things could be characteristic of this placement – if one is in the right “mode” or mind frame to go along with it. Stubbornness and rigidity when it comes to certain opinions and insights could be typical, although it might change very quickly and won’t stick over time. Something the person is thoroughly convinced of today might seem foolish to them tomorrow. There would be strong push to go out of one’s way to discover things, no matter how impractical and inconvenient the pursuit. There’s electricity and charge to the person’s mental pursuits, to one’s observation and efforts to extract value out of experience. Although there’s force and intensity to the process of learning about life as a whole, there’s also a peculiar detachment to the whole thing as if one isn’t part of what one is learning about. In contrast to someone with say, Moon in the 9th, Uranus in the 9th doesn’t experience the overwhelm that it means to learn and experience existence because one is the “observer” not a living and breathing merged component of the experience. With this placement one might have an unusual outlook of life and a very rare and interesting life philosophy. In fact, one would not really subscribe to any one outlook and might identify solely as the observer because one has switched perspective so many times that one knows that none are ultimately real. This doesn’t make the person discouraged, it only confirms that life is complex and multi-dimensional and that truth is nowhere to be found within the hologram of existence.

10th house: This house relates to public image, career and our personal contribution to society. It’s represents worldly purpose and outward persona. When Uranus is here, the person has a certain protruding electricity and charge – there’s a lot of energy put towards moving forward into the future in revolutionary ways. The person could have a reputation for being unpredictable, eccentric and a bit irrational as a byproduct of only seeing potential and not taking note of the limitations. The person exist “outside of the box” and is somewhat of a stranger in society, presenting far-reaching ideas that might be difficult for the average person to digest. There’s probably great openness to all kinds of people and experiences, but the person is extremely jerky and fidgety, so it’s impossible to really know when there’s going to be resistance and when there’s going to be acceptance. More than any other placement, Uranus in the 10th is an indicator of someone to catch people’s attention because it’s so potent and forceful in an electric way – it’s so unsettling and unconventional that people can’t help but turn their heads. “I’m not like everyone else” is the kind of message these people convey, consciously or unconsciously. These are extremely flighty individuals – they can be miles away, seemingly living in their own fantasy world, except that they know that everyone else is doing the same thing and they’re just not aware of it. These people are likely pinned as the odd person that has a lot of energy and unusual opinions and modes of being. They can switch gears or “roles” frequently, unable to be bound by any standardized career path and pushed to carve their own lives, take risks and live on mental impulse. They probably have no idea what they’re doing most of the time, or at least it seems like it when taking the most contra intuitive paths and moving into unpaved territory in terms of vocation and worldly achievement. Some force of the unconscious is seemingly moving these people, pushing them and compelling them to take mental leaps. The curious thing is, that once the leap is made, there’s absolute certainty because one is not merely hoping to level up, one has switched gears and is now operating on a completely different level of existence that is just as real as the previous one. These people are really the pioneers and revolutionaries of society because they radiate a collective urge for change; they shake things up, perhaps even negatively in some people’s eyes. They are symbolizing the urge to break free from old shackles and to reinvent the ways of society. People might feel uncomfortable and put up a lot of resistance to this kind of energy, because it’s disruptive and destabilizing. These people might have “weirdo” painted all over their forehead, being misunderstood and taken for extreme creative individualists with no anchoring in the norm – or they might become the “hook” for collective unconscious forces as the leader of a collective movement. In the case of the latter, the individual becomes a public image for the winds of change for better or for worse. The career might be paved with unforeseen events sudden blessings and curses, as well as unpredictable turns of the road.

11th house: This house relates to collective movements, common goals, friends and shared interests, societal change and progression. Uranus is very much at home in this house, seeing as it is the planet of large-scale revolution and change. When Uranus is here, there’s a strong awareness of the differences and commonalities of human beings and a capacity to switch between groups of people and finding a common ground with all of them. This is the type of person to jump in between social groups – not belonging to any one group but open enough to partake in all of them. The humanitarian and liberal perspective is protruding and very strong – there’s no one more open and willing to find friendship with people from all walks of life than Uranus in the 11th. It’s likely that one views the self to not belong to any specific group or class of society, but to them all simultaneously. All people are part of the human family and this is profoundly clear to this person – religion, political opinion, ethnicity, sexuality or any other factor comes second to the fact that everyone depends on one another. This person might have great ideas about how humanity should organize itself in order to benefit everyone without the blood thirsty uncivilized game that is “survival of the fittest”. Of course, primitiveness is not innately bad, but the person with Uranus here aims to view things objectively and find new ways to make everyone live in a way that benefits the whole rather than merely themselves. That being said, this person could have some unconventional ideas and highly creative solutions to certain collective issues. One might be associated with various groups of people and have great insight into their way of viewing things, their needs and convictions, their character traits and innate disposition. More than anything, this person is an observer of humanity, a person of mental understanding of the inner workings of social systems and groupings. Prince Charles, Prince William and Prince Harry all have Uranus in this house (according to astrotheme.com), which makes sense considering that they are people who are supposed to have a connection to the people – they are essentially symbolic “agents of the divine”, supposedly anchored in Christian values of brotherhood, love, compassion and respect. They are involved in various social projects and aim to improve that quality of people’s lives through their work and presence. Whether it’s successful or impactful can be up for debate but it’s certainly their intention. People with this placement will likely seek to offer guidance or insight to the masses in some way, whether it’s through expressing certain values or bringing an objective perspective to the situation that equalizes the charge within people. This type of person would be phenomenal at reminding everyone of the commonalities and shared quirks, reminding people of their basic humanity and all the problems and gifts that come with it. By being radically open and honest, other people are allowed to show their weaknesses and strengths as they are without feeling the need to fit into a box.

12th house: This house relates to the collective unconscious, undifferentiated reality and the absence of separate self. It is a house that is related to universal feeling, the truth of everything being one. This house is essentially the enemy of individuality and at the same time is the birthing place for it. The 12th is dual and paradoxical, the place where “reality” and dreams blend. With Uranus here, the person would feel as if collective forces govern his or her life to a large extent. Changes in the collective unconscious affect these people personally more than others, for better or for worse. They live in a perpetual atmosphere of Uranus, which means that mental impulses and insights flood them daily of the most new and jarring kind. The inner world is potentially absurd and strange and completely different from the mundane everyday life. In fact, these people might not find that there’s anything mundane about life because everything is a fascinating phenomena to them. There can be hidden feeling of not being of this world, of feeling things more objectively and from a standpoint of universal reality. These can be very creative individuals, able to channel some genius ideas through letting go of the defenses put up by the ego. This could potentially be done through sleep, drugs or any other method of releasing resistance. Since this house is related to hidden enemies, it might be that certain original ideas are detrimental to the separate self and to other people in one’s surroundings. Because the 12thhouse is the realm of no boundaries, doing the most destructive and weird things might come easier to these people. There’s a disruptive quality to these people that shines through their subtle aura – they’re not trying to act out of the norm but little twitches and pushes make them do things that they ultimately can’t control. In a sense, these people are sponges for collective energies and pushes for change. Adolf Hitler had this placement (according to astrotheme.com), which expressed itself extremely destructively. Uranus in the 12th reaches for the heavens and might end up in hell because ecstasy is only felt through complete disregard for the preservation of the individual even though one might argue that it is in the individual’s best interest. In a sense Uranus in the 12th is a push for societal structure and progression that comes the closest to ecstatic bliss and one might take the most insane actions to get there. On a more positive note, this placement can express itself as a positive force for changing group consciousness, and communicating a vision of a civilized and peaceful society based on humanitarian values, mutual respect and love. Whether the ideas are realistic and applicable might be another question, however, the dream of redemption can inspire people and instill hope in the darkest of times.

[tempenensis]

Jujutsu Kaisen Light Novel #2

Firstly, @bonsai62​ provides me with raw text of this - so thank you very much! This is the first eight pages of the first chapter from the second light novel. That being said, I don’t know how much I get this translation right, but enjoy anyway. Though this is cut at bad point lol

The title of the light novel is Thorny Road at Dawn. Text in bold means that it is spoken in English. 

Chapter 1: Nobara and Toge

.

“About Toge?”

August has begun.

Under the overlapping form of trees in the schoolyard, Panda asks back to Kugisaki who he has been holding on his arm and turning over 180 degree.

For the upcoming exchange event, Fushiguro is also working hard to train as participating first year.

He is in the middle of training with assumption that one-vs-one sorcerer combat can break especially during the fight.

Even though she is training, Kugisaki is now thrown towards Panda – repeatedly thrown towards him in a stage. But because it seems that her motivation is high, she’s become into it, as long as in the end she can be successful facing Todo and Mai even just a little bit.

“Yes. I understand Maki-san is worth of my respect. I also know that Panda-senpai is sorcerer with ability.”

“I also want you to say the same thing about me like Maki.”

Kugisaki answers as she stands up and brushes away leaves attached to her jersey.

“I respect you. I’m not saying bullshit about Panda-san.” (1)

“Well, if you become able to chat while being blown away, I’ll praise you.”

“My body can easily remember just blown like this.”

“Hooon. Then”

Panda looks around, confirming that Toge who went to pharmacy has not come back.

“What about Toge?”

“What kind of senpai is he?”

“Eh, you don’t know from talking to him?”

“Not that I don’t understand. Well, I know he is not a bad person, but if all his vocabularies are riceball fillings, talking with him will be limited, right?”

“We already get too used to it, right Maki?”

“Aah. Now that you say it, it naturally becomes question.”

Maki is spinning around a staff, sending a sympathetic look to Fushiguro after she lightly avoids Fushiguro’s attack and land a small hit on his head.

“It hurts…”

“You are thinking too much again with your head.”

Maki joins the conversation as she glances at groaning Fushiguro. Out of breath but clean of dust, she circles around Panda calmly.

“Among us maybe he is the best at taking care.”

“Yeah, he has a bright personality (2). If you exclude Yuuta, then he is the number one good person in our year.”

“His flaw is that he can get carried away a little.” (3)

“Is he?”

“You are the one who always get carried away when we are together, that’s why you don’t know.”

“That’s unexpected. We are not like that though. We like to join in the fun.”

Kugisaki’s body fitness is finally reaching that point where she can chat while doing her training. Even then, the second years who are lightly talking among them without difficulty remembers existence of Kugisaki of August (4) in the nearby stage.

Just a bit when Panda’s attention is at Maki as they converse, Kugisaki tries to do a feint from the side and mixes it with an upper but—

“Anyway.”

“Geh.”

Panda sways easily, then he hesitates a little before swipe Kugisaki’s feet in sobat-like (5) kick.

Kugisaki, whose pivot foot collapses, falls down rolling. Her body becomes totally irresponsive. In several weeks here, it’s a movement that she kept thought she could do.

That said she becomes irresponsive and she can’t win the match.

As he looks down at Kugisaki who makes a discouraged face, Panda opens his mouth.

“Toge is a good guy. That alone you should know.”

“….I see.”

More than that, her body has become irresponsive and her back is hurting.

The frequency of her falling down sloppily has not reduced, also buying a replacement jersey have also becomes necessary -- Kugisaki at summer time thinks with melancholy.

.---.

The story continues when it has turn to fall.

After the incident of Yasohachi has passed, there’s a brief spare time.

At that day, Kugisaki is alone in Shibuya.

Fushiguro is locking himself up and reading in his room as he is still exhausted after he overexerted himself.

Itadori has gone out to watch a maniac movie in a cinema currently doing a whole-building screening.

Maki is currently on a mission different from Yasohachi bridge, so she can’t meet her conveniently in a while. Kugisaki who completely doesn’t have a plan, aims to go shopping to make-up and clothes shops which are hard to go with boys, then buy daily necessities.

“Winter clothes set, winter shoes, inner and foundation and…”

Grasping paper bags in both hands, she lifts them up as she confirms her haul today.

She doesn’t think she bought too much, but she has walked more than she had planned. Maybe wearing the pin heel boots she bought the other day is a bit mistake.

But it is a rare chance that she gets to go out and shop alone. There’s a lot she still needs to buy.

Kugisaki is thinking to go looking for bags next as she walks in traffic jam.

When she had just arrived in Tokyo, it all seemed to be glittering scenery. After around three months has passed, she gets used to it a lot, used to hearing noisy sounds.

That being said, it is a backside of being busy and lively. It’s a thing that’s called taste of convenience.

“And that, it is really a masterpiece.”

“Doesn’t it make you angry?”

“Hey, hey. Girl, are you alone? Are you free?”

“I’m in a hurry.”

“Salmon.”

“We’re opening a new shop! Please take care of us.”

“Are you not going to eat?”

“How much are you going to eat?!”

“It’s damned boring, how about we skip work today?”

“Mama, buy me that!”

A lot of voices. It’s an intersection where a lot of life collides.

There are daily life as many as the number of people, there are worlds as many as the number of people. In the city where many wills and voices flying around, of course there will be a lot of people who is feeling gloomy – but not Kugisaki.

For her who has a firm sense of self, she understands that everyone has their own way of living in the hustle bustle of the city, it even feels like a kindness.

Now that she thinks about it, the village where she comes from was suffocating.

An exclusivity that imitate the people who had come before (6). An ecosystem long existed that doesn’t recognize individuality of a person. A closed world that gently rot — exists there in that village, Kugisaki thinks.

Compared to the crowd of the city, it is tough yet she can live with freedom.

In the city, someone says that the concern towards other people is weak. Kugisaki laughs, thinking that is wonderful. She has her own way and won’t blame anyone over it. She will stand and walk with her own foot.

However, mixing in the city crowd during the holiday, a mysterious chance can happen.

“Hm?”

Kugisaki who walks towards the direction of Shibuya Hikarie (7) in the lane across the street, makes a face of remembering something as she found him. It is the only one of her acquittances who hides lower half of mouth with closed overly long collar.

It’s Inumaki Toge.

There is also another one. A male foreign tourist with thoughtful blue eyes who can’t be someone familiar. Kugisaki becomes interested on the exchange between the foreigner and Inumaki.

“What are they talking about?”

Kugisaki changes her destination, then crosses the road when the traffic lamp changes at the right timing, and strolls towards Inumaki. When she is near them, she overhears their talk.

“I’d like to go to SHIBUYA109.” (8)

“Salmon salmon.”

“Could you tell me where I can get a taxi?”

“Salmon roe.”

“Ah… Which way should we go?”

“Seaweed.”

“Ah…I, want to go. 109 (9). Please. Ok?”

“Salmon.”

“Shake?” (10)

“….Salmon?” (11)

“….Salmon!? Why?”

“Okaka…..” (12)

“Ee…?”

For some reason, in Kugisaki’s guess ten times over, it has become a troublesome situation.

She knows that Inumaki, who is a cursed speech user, only speaks in onigiri fillings to avoid sudden outburst of curse. How come that he is asked by foreigner tourist for direction.

No, Inumaki can use Inumaki’s way of showing the way – he points his finger and gestures using his body and hands. With that, she wonders if the foreigner becomes impatient (13) as Kugisaki decides to get in between the two of them.

“What are you doing, senpai?”

“Tunamayo.”

“It can’t be ‘tunamayo’. Jeez.”

“Oh! Geisha girl!”

“Who the heck is geisha girl?!”

.

.

--- tbc (hopefully can do more)

(1) More literally, she is saying things about Panda that “doesn’t smell like fairy tale” (2) “His root is bright” is the literal translation (3) 悪ノリ (akunori) is a bit hard to be translated. It’s like, getting carried away in mischievous manner. (4) Overheated Kugisaki lol (5) Sobat : back kick in wrestling (6) literally “To follow the right” (7) A skyscraper in Shibuya (8) A department store in Shibuya (9) Spoken in broken Japanese lol. (10) Shake = salmon. He repeats what Toge said to him. In Inumaki’s language means “yes” (11) Salmon, as in engrish lol (12) Okaka = chopped katsuobushi, in Inumaki’s language means “no” (13) literally, “becomes hot”

[all-about-seggs]

False Love-

Rating: ❌ 18+, Explicit ❌

Pairing- Timeskip! Yandere Oikawa Tooru x fem reader

Word count- 1.8 K

Warnings- Aphrodisiacs, fingering, dub-con, vaginal sex, Oikawa is delusional and sad.

A/n: This is my fic for the Valentine's day Collab that @ultimate-astridwriting hosted. I hope I was able to live up to their expectations (ᗒᗩᗕ).

Roaming around the busy streets of Palermo, ginormous heart shaped props occupying the narrow lane paints Oikawa's vision in scarlet. Love is in the air, as they say, was quite literally true for the beautiful city of Argentina.

In the midst of giggling couples and warm twinkling lights, the annoyed click of his tongue gets drowned out; Unnoticed ;making him recognise his own solitude.

Normally he'd have hoards of girls vying for his attention, trying to take him to their place but maybe it was because of his age, or the mountain of experience with the momentary flings that made him want to search for something deeper.

He used to be fine with superficiality of his relationships, the repeated cycle of getting himself off of any faceless women who came onto him then forgetting her existence the next day was fulfilling in itself. Afterall, his career has always taken priority.

Though the last remaining brain cells of his body tries to rationalise the situation he is getting himself in, Oikawa had already decided what kind of connection he wanted and and was just going to let himself have that. Selfishness is not something he ever disliked anyway.

He felt no need to hide his disdain, Oikawa wasn't one to be subtle about his pettiness either, that's why the contrasting emotions of his own, clashing with the jubilant ones of his surrounding annoyed him to no end.

The chocolates wrapped up neatly in his hand felt heavy, causing his fingers to tremble slightly. It wasn't the weight of the box but what he intended to do with the said item that made his insides twist with excitement.

Yes. It was excitement. Happiness and pure bliss that he felt when he rang the doorbell of your modest appartment in the costal side of the city. Despite having the sea right next to your place, the cold February air still made you shiver as you opened the door to see Oikawa standing at your doorsteps, all smiles with a dash of extra in his typical 'hand on the hip' pose.

Surprised wouldn't even being to describe your current state of shock. You spend the next few seconds just starting at his ever confident form before his voice brings you back to your senses.

" Yooohooo~ babe, I'm sure I don't look 'that' good. I just finished with practice so my hair's probably a mess right now", he continued on with his cheery tone,

" Come on, It's not like you have anyone else to spend Valentine's with, so why not just let me in already and look", dangling the expensive looking bag in front of your eyes, his expression took on a slightly sinister turn in their features, the kind that went away as soon as they appeared not leaving any trace of its original condescending vibes.

" I made these chocolates for you", emphasizing on the made part he stares right into your eyes, as if waiting for his well earned praise. Heaving a sigh of defeat you release the door know you didn't knew you had in a death grip, opening the door completely in a gesture to usher him inside.

Oikawa quickly makes himself at home, plopping down on your couch with his long legs stretched.

This was the first time you had seen him after the rejection of the high in demand position of his girlfriend. The face he made when you turned him down was of utter disbelief so much so that you almost reconsidered your decision. But you weren't that wishy washy in your opinions and his was a type you made sure to ignore.

You were aware of his salty personality and the habit of holding grudges, so you thought after that fateful day he'd ignore you like the plague, but for all his arrogance Oikawa's face was the epitome of gleeful.

" Soooo", starting off with an awkward note you casually try to sit on the furthest arm chair from the couch Oikawa was currently occupying and tried to ask what exactly was he expecting out of his current visit but he quickly cut you off by his own booming voice.

" Before all that, why don't you try these?", Pointing to the chocolates he starts unwrapping them, as he pulls the decorative ribbon, two rows of brown, heart shaped delicacies appeared.

"Don't be shy, I made these for you afterall", he remarked, pushing the box on your side of the table.

You didn't think much of it, afterall, 'making' chocolates just means buying store bought ones and just melting them into different shapes right?

Popping one small cube in your mouth you let it dissolve, your taste buds filling up with the sweetness of the treat. Just as it finished you heard Oikawa speak again.

"You probably know why I'm here, but I'll tell you again", readjusting his posture, he sits straight, both the look in his eyes and tone taking a more serious turn.

" I thought about why turned me down that day and I finally realised......You were just scared weren't you?", rather than upset he sounded relieved as he continued with self assuredness ,

" Of commitment? Or because of my job? Either way I can already assure you that I was already prepared to put you above everything else if the situation calls for it".

You were just sitting, listening to his outrageous conclusions when you felt your heartbeat increase. The sweaty palms of your hand to the moistness in your core, your entire body started reacting in ways you'd never experience before.

"You thought that I'd keep our relationship on the back burner and only focus on my career? You were just lonely weren't you?", With every passing second his delusional words seemed to work with more and more intensity that didn't helped your hyperventilating state at all.

"And you rejected me because you didn't wanted to have an absent boyfriend right? So in reality-", by the time he finished he was already in front of you, the fire in the depths of your core made your mind hazy and eyes unfocused. You wanted to ask what was happening or what he put in those chocolates but forming any coherent words was a feat on its own in your current condition.

He smoothly takes one of your burning hand in his cool ones, the contact making you instantly lean onto him for more. You're sitting in a daze when he pulls you up from the arm chair and places you on his lap back on the longer couch.

In your already aroused state, the soft strokes of Oikawa's fingers on your scalp made you succumb further into the need for release as you sit on his lap with your head resting against his shoulder. The room was now quite safe for his soothing voice that came from right about your head.

"You love me right?", the words that come out of his mouth in the heated moment betrayed all his attempts at feigned composure. He may have spiked the chocolates with some sort of aphrodisiacs but the way your heart hurted after hearing this made it seem more like a love potion.

With his barely audible voice they sounded almost like a plea, another desperate measure to get what he wanted.

Before you could even notice, your vision tilts and you find yourself pinned to the couch, with Oikawa hovering right above you. His hands on your sweatpants, lowering them all the way to your ankles. And the weirdest thing?

You didn't wanted him to stop.

Not when he spread you out completely in front of him. Not when he was shamelessly staring at your naked pussy with a maniacal glint in his eyes and definitely not when he shoved two of his thick digits up your leaking pussy that covered his entire palm in your slick at the slightest of contact.

Your soft walls clenching around his fingers was all he needed before he stared unzipping his own pants. He gazed at your panting body while he pulled his cock out, flipping you on your stomach with your ass up and face shoved down.

You barely cared about anything but getting fucked good at this point when you heard some rumbling behind you, as soon as Oikawa was done putting on a condom he lined himself up against your entrance.

Not wasting any more time he slips past your folds until he is buried to the hilt. The feeling of being stretched out and filled to the brim coaxed out a few lewd moans from your mouth.

Your slick was enough to make Oikawa pick up a hard and fast pace, your entire body shook with every thrust of his. He kept his hands on your waist, pushing himself as deep as he can before pulling out until only the tip remains. Your own orgasm started building up with his every action.

His member throbbed against your insides and the moans that slipped past his gritted teeth indicated he already came but his cock showed no signs of softening as he kept going with his brutal pace.

You bury your head sideways, tongue lolling out and covering the fabric beneath it in your drool as Oikawa lodges his cock further into your pussy from behind. He moves in and out of you with ease, the slick from both your pussy and his previous release was more than enough to keep his memeber going.

Gripping your ass cheek in one hand, he trails his other one in between your thighs. Quickly his digits grazes your clit, the pressure they added along with the heavy thrusts pulled you closer to the edge. The anticipation of your impending release was all your lust laden head could think about the feeling of ecstasy that you desperately needed.

The intensity of your orgasm made your eyes roll back, and if it wasn't him holding you firmly in place, you probably would've fell down the couch. With your entire body shaking your panted heavily from your mouth to calm yourself.

Oikawa doesn't make any attempt to pull out or move and even after your breathing becomes even his member is still lodged deep inside you. He gently starts gyrating his hips against your pussy again and it becomes obvious that you weren't the only one under the effects of aphrodisiacs.

As cum trickles down your inner thighs, all you could decipher was the overwhelming bolts of pleasure Oikawa's cock provided and the sounds of your skin smacking against eachother's.

With his hands on both of your sides, he lowers himself down until your back was flush against his toned chest, his raspy voice rumbled through your ear as he spoke in a dark possessive tone,

"Don't forget..... we are in love"

[the-bat-collector]

SUPERBAT Rec List!! AU NO POWERS ish PART 1

I love NO POWERS NO CAPES AUs but its been so hard to find them!! so decided to make this list to help y’all in your search  :D

The length varies, but I prefer long fics so most of these are 10-20k up to 200k 

Heart and Soul by Pandamomochan

E - 150,044

Clark Kent used to be a renowned composer who was said to be able to write masterpieces that were designed uniquely for each individual player. Famous musicians around the world would flock to him in hopes that he would write for them because his pieces were always said to bring out any player's crowning performance. That is, until one day Clark loses his wife in a tragic accident and decides never to write again.

Years later, Clark's son, Jon, gets admitted to the famous "Gotham School of Performing Arts". It is there that Clark meets Bruce Wayne, a strict, uptight, by the book piano instructor who is said to be able to craft the best musicians around the world.

this is one of my favorites. I'm not really into Hurt/Comfort but this is so beautiful!! highly recommended I'm biased cause I play the piano

Seeing Bruce Wayne by Evilpixie

E - 15,089

Clark Kent is the only male midwife working in Metropolis General. Bruce Wayne the residential pediatric surgeon.

I'm so into medicine/doctor AUs this is also one of my favorite fics!if you have to pick one from this list, pick this one!!!

On The Cusp by vesper_house

E - 47,378

Clark's life isn't going so well. He's in his thirties, he works at a coffee shop run by his old crush, his journalism career is going nowhere, and he's broke. It takes only one tall, dark and handsome stranger to change everything.

COFFE SHOP AU COFFESHOP AU!! We need more of these, the dynamic between Bruce and Clark is Great!!!!

A Game You Can't Win by NightFoliage

T - 78,328

Injustice is the hottest MMORPGs available to play! Set in a world where superpowers exist, players can become civilians, heroes, villains, and anybody in-between. Designed by Hiro “Toyman” Okamura, and Timothy Drake-Wayne, Injustice was created with the best Wayne Industries technology available and has the most human NPCs. The game is beyond it's time and is planned to be at the top of the charts for a while.

By accident, Clark finds himself pushed into the spotlight and new found fame. To him, Let’s Plays are a means to stay in touch with friends and to make money. He never got into LPing to become famous.

Bruce, who funded the game after Jason’s accident, is irritated (not jealous) that a video game player is such a big topic among the kids. After the nth time they mention him, Bruce decides to take matters into his own hands and see what all the fuss is about.

link to art

ONE OF MY FAVORITE SUPERBAT FICS OUT THERE!!!!!! this is great and fun and Clark is the best!

As We Grow by butterflyslinky

E - 23,451

Clark Kent is a farmer deep in debt to Lex Luthor.

Bruce Wayne is a billionaire with seven children and no luck in love.

But their families have a scheme to get them together and hopefully make life a little bit better.

Modern Medicine by BuckinghamAlice

G - 5,208

Pediatrician Dr. Clark Kent becomes beloved to his patients, the Wayne boys... as well as to their doting father Bruce.

ABSOLUTELY lovely and adorable, you get the feels!

Hellooooo, nurse! by weirdraccoon INCOMPLETE WIP

T - ?????

Clark enjoys his job at the Free Clinic. He loves helping people and tending injuries. Saving lives. But this man... Bruce Wayne is going to kill him if he doesn't get killed first.

Bruce is still Batman on this one but HERE ME OUT, Clark is a nurse! is incomplete but looking forward to the following chapters!!

Two Cities by EllenD

E - 96,152

Clark Kent, is simply Clark Kent, junior reporter for the Daily Planet who moved to Metropolis from Smallville with big dreams. Bruce Wayne is a billionaire playboy from Gotham, who also happens to be Batman. They meet, date, and fall in love, though not without hurdles because mild-mannered Clark is also socially awkward as heck. But when the most dangerous criminals in Gotham are gunning for Batman, Clark gets caught in the middle of it all. (He's basically Batman's Lois Lane) Meant to be set in the Dawn of Justice movie universe, but also draws inspiration from video games, comics, and those awesome Batman cartoons.

This is part of a series, but this is the main fic of it. Love this trope of Clark is just a civilian and Bruce is Batman. Warning this fic does contain disturbing topics so read the tags.

Here Comes the Sun by batsy_rocks

T - 18,815

Clark Kent is a kind-hearted reporter working in the big city. Bruce Wayne is a stressed dad of four with no idea of what he's doing.

Then they meet.

Seasons of Love by littlechinesedoll

G - 4,603

Clark Kent took over that farm at the edge of the Town of Smallville. He likes Smallville's resident doctor, Bruce Wayne.

The best gifts for Bruce are ginger ale, salad, coffee, and any kind of flowers. He hates gems, and bars of copper, silver, and gold.

Petals and Ink by drunkraiinbow

T - 12,976

With a new kid joining the family, Bruce tries a new tattoo artist to continue the tradition of adding them to his sleeve, but he won't trust just any artist. Clark manages to win him over with his incredible talent and his farm-boy friendly demeanor, and he may even have begun to win Bruce's heart. However, Clark might have a few things to learn first.

FLOWER SHOP TATTOO PARLOUR AU! what else is there to say, this is extremely cute and a fast read! :D

Faceless Killer by Batsymomma11

E - 51,519

Detective Bruce Wayne from the GCPD and detective Clark Kent from the MPD have been asked to create a joint task force in an effort to catch the John Doe Killer that has been ravaging their sister-cities. Aside from their long-standing animosity towards one another, it should be a breeze to work together. Besides, lives depend on them getting along.

They never expected they'd trip headlong into a romantic entanglement that feels a lot more serious than even the killer they're chasing.

The Tailor by maderi

E - 16,026

When Clark is assigned to cover the Wayne gala, he finds himself in need of a professionally tailored suit. His tailor though is drop dead gorgeous, which brings up a lot of awkward situations during their appointments.

Heroes of the Squared Circle by Mithen

M - 226,687

They've gone by many names: Billionaire Brucie, Country Clark, the Kryptonian, the Dark Knight. But no matter what their stage names are, one thing has always been true: Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne are the world's finest wrestlers.

Six's a crowd by Untoward INCOMPLETE/ABANDONED

G - 10,133

When Alfred has to make an emergency trip back to England, Bruce soon finds out he can't manage running a business and taking care of six kids all alone.

He turns to a nanny agency for help, and is astonished when he finds Clark Kent, who seems like he can handle anything.

Clark not only can take care of the kids incredibly well but seems to be breaking Bruce's walls down rather well too.

After Hours by ????

E - 3,175

At the end of a long semester Clark can't hide his attraction to Professor Wayne any longer. Grad School AU.

This is practically a one-shot, not really my type of fic but worth adding!! Haven't come across this professor trope in Superbat so if you got any recs, send them my way!

Wings and Fangs by DanielleN3

E - 17,224

Clark thought he could never fall in love with anyone, especially not after being alone for such a long time��� but all of that changes when he encounters a sexy vampire in Gotham.

TECHNICALLY they both have powers in this one but there are soooo different from cannon that I think this fic still qualifies for this list

thirteen by CapnWinghead

T - 22,890

Drowning in student loans, Clark Kent takes a summer job as the Wayne family nanny.

OKAY. so this is not entirely NO POWERS, but I mean Clark is a NANNY so this is great! TRUST ME

Kiss me, take my breath away by J_Jubilee

E - 37,934

There were legends about Gotham Reef. Legends that said it was haunted by a beast of foul temper. Stories told of a ravenous sea beast that feasted on the flesh of men, and was said to be more hideous than Satan himself. Others told of a woman with eyes that glowed like gold to lead sailors to their death. Some even spoke of a witch that cursed men and wreck their ships, taking all their treasures with it. When Clark’s catamaran is wrecked by a terrible storm, he learns that the stories were oh so far from true.

Baby Bats by AlmondRose

G - 4,003

this is a short series of adorable and simple domestic fluff

------

Haven't read this one but heeey the art is sooo pretty soo decided to add it anyways

Dragon Heart by Hells Angel 921

T - 27,660

Kal wants to make up for his past.

Bruce tries to move on with his future.

They eventually meet in the middle.

link to art

I didn't know that Dragon/DragonSlayer was a thing but hey... apparently it is, so here it is.

----------------------

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hehe and so my rant ends here! let me know if you know fics that fit any of these tropes! I’m all ears

[harrypotter-imaginess]

Part 1 Here!

Commission Info for letters from your favorite comfort character here! 

A/N: If you want to be added to the tag list for this, The draco muggle series, or the Fred and George Weasley best friends Series let me know!

- “What’s the hurry boss? Where are you heading off to?” One of your co -workers asks as you rush around the store double checking all the locks on the entrances and giving your plants one final spritz

- “Hot date?” The other asks with a suggestive raised eyebrow

- “Yes.” You say simply,

- They both sputter at that

- “What? Seriously?!”

- “With who??” The other shrieks

- And right on cue there’s a light tap on the door

- Cue your employees squealing again

- “Him?!?”

- “The hottie with a dye job?”

- George offers you a smile and a wave and you smile back

- “Ainsley I trust you can lock up?” You ask, pushing the key into their hand

- They only nod

- Henry’s looking at you with his his mouth open as he watches you leave, George and you smiling at each other like a couple of lovestruck fools

- “I told you he had a crush on them” Ainsley says with a grin and Henry has a blush blooming on his cheeks as he pulls a five pound note from his wallet

- “I mean I did too- I just didn’t think he would work up the nerve to actually ask them out.”

- A moment of silence fills the air

- “I bet Ten pounds they find out if that’s their natural hair color tonight” Ainsley says with a grin, and Henry looks at her with a slightly mortified expression

- I mean, the implication of how you would find that out is just-

- “Yeah alright, our boss is a prude there’s no way” he says shaking Ainsley’s hand.

- So when George meant dinner- he meant dinner

- You’re at the tower restaurant in downtown London

- It’s on the fiftieth floor at a skyscraper at the heart of London.

- He reserved a table specifically next to a window with a view of the canal and the London eye

- It’s quite spectacular

- “Have you been here before?” He asks

- You’re glad you dressed a little nicer than you were originally thinking

- “A few times, once for a birthday and once-“

- You’re interrupted by your server bringing a bottle of champagne

- George gets a puzzled expression, he hasn’t even ordered yet

- “Compliments of the Owner, we’re still grateful you were able to fulfill that order last minute when our other florist backed out.”

- “Not a problem Charles, it was my pleasure”

- When he’s gone George flashes you a smile

- “I feel like everyone knows you” he says, lifting up a champagne flute as you toast.

- “That was just one person” you say with a smile and a giggle

- “You should have been at the store last week, my brother wouldn’t shut up about you” he says with a grin

- “Who’s your brother?”

- George describes Ron, but it doesn’t spark anything in you until he mentions the red hair

- “Oh yes, Ronnie! He comes by every month to get flowers for his girlfriend, I didn’t know he was your brother”

- What a small world

- You should have seen the similarity from the start, the hair was a dead give away really

- How come no one else at the shop had noticed either?

- “Well one of them” George shrugs

- “How many brothers do you have”

- George grins

- “That’s enough for a volleyball team!”

- “We have a sister too, the running joke is our parents wanted a girl, just one”

- By the time the appetizers are being brought out George has got the family picture from when they visited Bill in Egypt out (charmed so it doesn’t move of course)

- “You have a twin?”

- You know the second you’ve asked it that you said something wrong

- It’s not that George looks upset, or that his expression has darkened-

- He just looks so sad

- The kind of sadness that’s as deep as the Mariana Trench, hidden behind a kind smile and the gentle warmth of longing

- “I did have a twin-“ George knew this would come up sooner or later, he just didn’t want to ruin the nice mood you had going so soon

- “He passed away a few years ago”

- George is waiting for the look-

- The wide eyes, and the slight pout. That overly sympathetic look he’s gotten so often, it’s only natural. It happens to everyone, he won’t hold it against you. 

- And it forms on your face a little, because you can’t imagine what it’s like to lose someone like that. But the next thing that comes out of your mouth is original

- “What was he like?”

- “What?” George is taken aback, he was expecting words of condolence, as is typical for this situation

- “You told me all about Bill, and Charlie, and Percy, and Ron, and Ginny-“

- Now he’s surprised that you’ve remembered all of his siblings names, and correctly at that

- “Now tell me about your twin”

- Your eyes are twinkling when they look to him. All of London stretches out behind you, like something from a painting. Your face is illuminated by the small candle in the middle of your table.

- It feels like something out of a movie, and George is afraid he might cry from the sheer beauty of it

- He never thought he would feel this way again

- “His name was Fred, and he was my best friend”

- He’s talked about Fred before, to his family, to his therapist and old classmates

- But he’s never had an experience quite like this

- “Umbridge? Oh she was the worst, like the bitter old nun who slaps your wrists with a ruler”

- Only worse

- “Anyway Fred and I- we planned this entire thing when we decided to leave school-“

- He tells you about the fireworks in the main hall of their boarding school, and the way they raced through the door and never came back

- “I think I would have liked Fred” you say, a warm look in your eyes

- He would have liked you too, George wants to say

- But that’s a little forward for the first date, he feels like he’s already unloaded enough with his broken family and their loss

- Lucky for him, dessert has just arrived

- “Compliments of the owner, we hope to see you both here again” Charles tells you, setting down two impressive plates of Tiramisu

- “Why do I get the feeling that whatever you did was more than just a last minute order fulfillment?”

- You shrug

- “Well after the whole thing- they started contracting me to do their regular day to day flowers” you shrug, it’s not that big of a deal, fancy places like this use a few different vendors, they probably have a different one for each day

- Which is for the best since your shop can only handle a few days at most.

- It’s not that you can’t produce enough flowers or anything, it’s just you wouldn’t be able to give Ainsley and Henry the leisurely work hours you do now, not while maintaining quality for your existing customers

- And that’s a big no for you

- “I take it business was always this good?”

- With how successful you seem, he honestly can’t imagine you struggling

- You scoff

- “It was tough at first, when I was by myself.” You still remember your family telling you that it wasn’t to late to declare bankruptcy and get a real job. “Things got better when Ainsley showed up- holidays are still tough though.”

- “Ron’s told me all about the hour long line at Valentine’s Day” George says with a grin and you bury your face in your hands with a muffled groan

- “Oh it’s going to be terrible this year.” Valentine’s Day is still a few months away, but you can already feel the dread

- “We started doing appointments only last year- because the amount of people that just show up and ransack the place is just-“

- “Oh I know,” George says. “My store doesn’t even sell anything all that romantic, but the amount of people who show up last minute to buy anything- one time a bloke even bought the decorations I had up.”

- “Have you noticed-“ you voice lowers as you lean forward. “That’s it’s never people looking for things for their significant other, it’s always-“

- “For the mistresses?”

- You nod enthusiastically

- “I thought maybe it was just my store-“ George leans forward as well now, talking very quickly

- “No the same person who ordered flowers two months in advance for their husband, will spend thirty minutes begging for me to put a bouquet together for their special friend”

- George leans back and shakes his head

- “It’s crazy isn’t it? How many people cheat?”

- You sigh, leaning back into your chair shrugging

- “It’s not our place to judge.”

- Especially not when the person in question is shoving fifty quid in your face for a god d*mn cactus and a card

- George knows that, and he knows there have been times that the only reason he was able to keep his shop afloat after Fred left is because of Valentine’s Day

- But still- cheating just irks him

- It’s the most unforgivable thing a person can do, to betray the person they love the most like that

- George knows every relationship is different- and that things aren’t clear cut-

- But he can’t ever imagine doing that to someone

- “I don’t get it though, I can’t even get one lover, let alone two or more” you laugh, and George swears it looks like you’re glowing

- He feels a smile twitch at the corner of his lips, the mischievous streak in him rolling awake after what feels like years of slumber

- “What if I told you I was trying to change that?”

- His arm is on the table, the tips of his fingers brushing against yours slightly

- You feel your face grow hot as his words sink in one by one

- A smile spreading across you face

- “I would say, I’m looking forward to it.”

BONUS:

- “So did you find out if Hottie’s color is natural?” Ainsley asks, a mischievous smile curled onto their lips. 

- “Ainsley, his name is George, he owns a hobby store a few lanes over.” You say as you finish tying the bow on an arrangement. 

- There’s a second of silence in which Henry and Ainsley exchange a look. Henry’s feeling pretty confident right now, Ainsley might have worked here longer than him, but he feels like he knows you pretty well, and he-

- “And yes it is, so you should both stop calling him Dye Job.” You say with a smile twitching on your lips. 

- Henry.exe is broken.

- Ainsley has to hide their joy, internally cheering and wondering how to spend the money. 

- “H-how do you know that?” Henry asks, maybe you’re just saying it so he and Ainsley will stop teasing your new love interest. 

- You stop, looking up from your arrangement in slight wonder.

- Ah, he was right! It looks like you’re trying to come up with an excuse.

- “Well his brothers all seem to have that hair color, I think they get it from their Dad.”

- Ainsley and Henry.exe have stopped working. 

- “YoU mEt HiS fAmIlY??” Ainsley shrieks. 

[anagentinwriting]

Lifeline - Part 1

Summary: (First Responders!AU) Moving to Los Angeles and living with your brother, Thor, was never part of your plan nor was being a 9-1-1 dispatcher, but plans change when you are faced with your own emergencies. In your case, it was leaving behind a relationship that wasn’t as perfect as it seemed. Will this be the fresh start you were hoping for or will your past find a way to catch up with you?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Odinson!Sister Reader

Word Count: ~1800

Warnings: Car accident, angst

Lifeline Masterlist / Main Masterlist

A line ringing over your headset notifies you another emergency call is coming in. You cleared your head, preparing for anything, and clicked the spacebar, answering it, “911, what’s your emergency?” 

“Bro, that was insane,” the male voice said over the phone. “You’re gonna be famous on YouTube.” 

“Excuse me, sir? What seems to be the problem?” you asked, letting out a sigh. 

“My friend is having trouble breathing, and his throat feels like it’s on fire.”

“What’s the address?”

“576 Rose Lane in Westwood.” 

You typed the address into your computer, signaling the nearest available unit to the caller's location. “First responders are on their way. Can you tell me what he was doing before this happened?”

“We were doing the cinnamon challenge.” You rolled your eyes. “I thought it was harmless. Then, he was gagging, and then he coughed, and a puff of cinnamon came out of his nose. It was awesome; he looked like a dragon.” It's been a while since you got a call about an internet challenge gone wrong, but it's been forever since you got a cinnamon challenge one. You didn't even know that challenge was still around.  “Oh fuck!”

“Is everything okay? What happened?” 

“He collapsed. He’s not moving. Should I shake him awake?”

“He probably passed out, but paramedics are only a few minutes away. Is he still breathing?”

“I don’t think so,” he panicked.

“Remember to stay calm, I’ll help you through this the best I can, okay? Okay, now I am going to have to ask you to administer CPR. Do you know what to do?” 

“Sort of. I learned it in health class a few years ago.”

“Perfect. It's 30 chest compressions followed by two breaths going to the rhythm of the song Staying Alive. You can do this.”

“Ok---okay. Yeah. Right, right,” he mumbled. Hearing him set the phone down on the ground, he started counting and doing chest compressions.

The responding unit was about a block away, and once they arrived, you could hear the sirens coming through the phone call.

“Odinson, take over compressions,” a lady’s voice commanded. “Kid, come with me.”

“Is he going to be...” the line went dead as he hung up his phone.  

You leaned back in your chair, rubbing your eyes. This wasn’t anything new; when help arrives, people hang up, and you don’t get to know how it ends, but maybe it was for the best. You sit back up, seeing your reflection in one of the many screens in front of you. At least, you knew most of the firefighters from Station 107 at the scene, including your brother Thor, if you ever wanted to know how it ended.

It's tough, taking call after call, emergency after emergency with little to no recovery time in between. It’s a stressful job that is emotionally and physically taxing. It requires extreme focus, patience, and puts you under a certain kind of pressure. The pressure of wanting to help and do everything you possibly can when this person you never met puts their life in your hands. You never know what the outcome will be, but you try to help them get through what might be the scariest moment in their life. It’s those calls, the ones you were able to save, that keep you coming back to work.

You stepped away from your command center and headed towards the kitchenette, spotting Luis rummaging through the fridge. It wasn’t unusual, but it did always bring a smile to your face. It was hard to believe he was one of the dispatchers who showed you the ropes after relocating to Los Angeles three months ago. 

“Hey, Luis.” He turned around with a doughnut in his mouth, quickly removing it and shooting you a carefree smile.  

“Hey, Chica, get any weird calls yet? You know I love hearing about those weird ones, right.” 

“Nothing out of the ordinary, but a guy called earlier saying his whole body hurt everywhere he poked. I told him to drive to the emergency room and get his finger looked at because it’s probably broken. Oh, and there was another cinnamon challenge victim.”

“Another one, I thought that craze was over.” He shook his head. “But I did hear about this crazy call that came in last night, right. It wasn’t so much crazy, but one of those nuisance calls, you know what I’m saying, the kind where you’re like, ‘why are you calling, this isn’t an emergency type of situation?’ Anyways, Cameron Klein took the call; you know the dude with the great hair, the kind you just want to run your hands through. It has the perfect fluff to curl ratio. I mean, I touched it once, and it was like a cloud. I asked him what products he used in his hair, and he was like…” 

“Luis, how does this relate to the call?”

“Oh, right. Sorry, sorry, sorry, so there was this lady caller, right. She was telling Great Hair how she couldn't leave her car because there was a hostile raccoon outside her door. So then, Great Hair was like why don’t you go out a different door. And this caller says ‘yo I tried, but it’s like this trash panda can read my mind, right. He follows me when I move to the other side, and he’s like crazy, stupid fast like a rocket.’ And here comes the best part, Great Hair was like, ‘Hey girl, you better run fast then,’ and hung up,” he beamed with a slight chuckle.

“Oh my god, people really need to learn what an emergency is,” you chuckled, shaking your head. 

“You know that’s right, but duty calls.” He tilted his head towards the door, carrying two doughnuts and a huge mug full of coffee. 

“Later, Luis.”

Years ago, you never would have imagined you would be working as a dispatcher in Los Angeles. You preferred helping people hands-on, which is why you became an ER nurse. It was the feeling of never knowing what was going to come charging through those doors next that excited you. But being a dispatcher gave you a whole different kind of thrill because you could only use your voice to help.

The rest of your shift flew by until you were on hour eight of your ten-hour shift. A pileup involving a semi jackknifing on the highway forced a huge collision of cars. All the units in the area along with a few on the outskirts came in to assist. It was the same call coming in multiple times, and all you could say was help was already on the way.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“Send help,” the woman cried, telling you her address.

“Ma’am, I am going to need you to tell me what is going on?”

“A power line…a power line fell into our pool, and my daughter is trapped on her unicorn floaty in the water. I don’t…I don’t know what to do.”

“Stay calm, ma’am. My name is YN, and I’m dispatching a unit to your home now.” You switched lines to the highway accident, getting on a line with Captain Danvers from Station 107, who was sending three individuals to the scene right away. You switched back to the caller. “Okay, I will need you to stay calm. What is your daughter’s name?”

“Morgan, she’s five years old.”

“Please, whatever you do, make sure Morgan stays on the floaty because it is protecting her from the water. There is a good chance the power line is sending more than 5000 volts through the water.”

“Okay, okay, I can do that, “ the mother breathed. “Honey, please stay on the tube.”

“I'm going to try to get in contact with the power company to turn it off.” You looked up the power company in the area, and someone slid next to you. You glance over, seeing Bruce get to work on calling the power company. You nodded at him, staying on the line with the mom. “Ma’am, has help arrived yet?”

“No, but I can hear the sirens.” You peeked at Bruce, but he shook his head, still trying to get a hold of the power company. “They are coming through the back gate now.”

“Ma’am, can you hand the phone to one of the firemen?” You bit your lip, studying the layout of their home on one of your monitors. There were flowers all over their backyard, and you got an idea. 

“Hello, this is Fireman Rogers.”

“Hi, Fireman Rogers. This is 9-1-1 dispatcher, YN, how is it looking there?”

“Well, on the drive-in, we saw that a truck hit the power line pole, which caused the pole to fall into the pool. The driver isn’t in any serious condition, but one of our EMT’s is looking him over,” he informed in a deep voice. “Then, we have a pool vibrating with energy, but I assume you already know that part.”

“Do you have a plan in place? We are still trying to get a hold of the power company.”

“There are a few more floaties by the pool. I could ride one over to Morgan and pull her to safety?”

“Really? Where did you get that from the macho man handbook?”

“I don’t think that book exists, YN,” he added, making you scoff.

“I may have an idea.” You narrowed your eyes, playing out the idea in your head. 

“What did you have in mind?”

“I can view the whole home on one of my monitors, and there are a ton of flowers. So, I can only assume a garden hose must be nearby.”

“Yup, I see it.”

“Okay, perfect. Grab the hose and cut off the metal ends; it's rubber, so it won't conduct electricity. Then, have you and another fireman take the hose and walk along the opposite sides of the pool. Have Morgan grab ahold of it and carefully pull her back to the edge."

“That’s genius, YN. Thanks for your help,” he acknowledged, making you crack a side smile. Few people said thank you in this job, but when they did, you appreciated it. “Here’s your phone back, ma’am.”

Morgan’s mother's breath was shaky and staggered through the phone. She was scared and had every right to be. If you were in that situation, you would be, too. “Oh my god, it’s working. It’s working,” the mother shouted into your ear. “Are you okay, honey? Are you hurt?”

“I am okay, Mommy,” Morgan replied before the phone line went dead.

You smiled at yourself in one of the now blank screens. It was these moments why you loved what you were doing; a happy ending. Some calls never get a happy ending, but when they do, those are the ones you try to remember when a stressful call comes in.

________

AN: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. There is a long way to go and I promise things will definitely get more interesting. This was just a quick intro to some of the many characters that will make an appearance/cameo. Comments always welcome! Thanks for reading and I hope you’ll stick with me! 

[ssa-emilyhotchner]

14x10 ~

First, I'm going to start by saying that I'm beginning to really enjoy the last few seasons. Apparently, they are filled with subtle Hotchniss, so I guess I'll have to actually start watching s12-15🤭Btw, I have to give a special shout-out to @hotchnisscardigan​ who told me about the existence of this! 🥰🥰

The episode revolves around an old case that most of the team worked on in the past. The Milwaukee case. Sounds familiar? That's because is one of the most iconic Hotchniss episodes.

14x10 was a walk down memory lane. Not only because of the case they worked on, but because we started seeing Emily reconciling with the decisions she made in her past. It's obvious that the writers not only wanted to focus on the evolution this case had over the years, but on how Emily was handling her own demons from her past. What's really interesting is why they decided to choose this specific case for this specific episode. They used such an emblematic Hotchniss episode to include Emily's doubt about dating Andrew Mendoza? Coincidence? I don't think so. 

JJ mentioned this during the episode, and she was definitely not wrong: 

This conversation between Emily and Andrew gives me an incredible amount of deja vu. It kind of reminds me of 5x02, how concerned she was for Hotch. And how she wasn't sure it was such a great idea for him to return back to work. 

What really gets me is when Andrew says “what's one more scar“. I truly believe the CM crew wrote this on purpose, to somehow create a hidden reference about Hotch. With Foyet and his 9 stab wounds, all the issues later on regarding his internal bleeding because of the scar tissue. It just completely makes sense to me. 

I was completely in awe when she couldn't remember that case. How is she going to forget that moment? When it was such a decisive one for her? She almost sacrificed her career in the FBI trying to save his. It just doesn't make any sense to me that she'd forget an important moment like that. Unless she chose to forget, for her own sake. Which would make sense, after hearing all her love quotes/phrases from these last seasons. She was definitely still in love with Hotch, but trying her hardest to move on. 

Even JJ couldn't believe that she didn't remembered. Just look at her exasperated face haha.

We've seen before that in these last few seasons, every time someone mentions Hotch's name, Emily does an unusual face expression. It feels almost involuntary. And this time was no exception. It's like all her memories about Hotch were coming back to her. 

In this scene, the team is talking about the kid (who turned out to be the unsub), but somehow, part of me feels that she was remembering Hotch, just by looking at that painful expression she made. The way she couldn't even finish the sentence, makes this scene even more powerful. Emily wished she had kept in touch with Hotch after the whole Peter Lewis incident, but she knew that it was for the best that she didn't. A few weeks later after this, she starts talking about parallel universes and to me is just her simple way of saying that maybe in another life or in another time, they could've ended up together, but unfortunately there was always something that pushed them apart (Doyle, her resign from the FBI at the end of s7, Peter Lewis).

Also, Emily makes the same face expression as the one she has at the end of 13x01, when JJ asks her if Hotch was coming back. She looks down, to the side, anywhere that doesn't include making eye contact. It's as if she knew that her eyes could give her away. That right there, turned out to be her real tell. 

Was she channeling Hotch? Didn't I just made a post a few days ago about how the binoculars where Hotch's favorite gadget? I think is the first time I've seen her using them in 14 seasons.

This moment right here, has a deeper and more significant meaning than what she lets on. The first time I saw this scene, it reminded me of the whole Doyle arc. Especially when she says: “It is more about remembering what I was intended to do, and reconciling with what I had to do“. If she had confided in the team, but especially in Hotch, things would certainly have turned out differently, and that's a thing she has to live with forever: the uncertainty of not knowing what would've happened and how much her life would've changed, if she had trusted her team during that moment. If she had trusted her instincts. If she had trusted Hotch💔

And that's what haunts her, how different her live would be right now if she had trusted her instincts. 

But, would she have been able to save him? To save Hotch? “I might have changed things for him” I truly believe she's talking about how if she had stayed, if she had done things differently with Doyle, if she had trusted her team instead of running away to protect them, she would've been able to continue helping him like she did after Haley died (which we know was the obvious reason for his speedy recovery). They would have had the relationship we know they both wanted, and maybe he wouldn't have had to face Mr. Scratch alone. Maybe not even face him at all. 

That's what she's really afraid of, why she can't move on. The endless possibilities, the what ifs.

This last scene with Andrew SCREAMS Hotchniss to me. Those scars Emily's referring to? She's obviously talking about Hotch. I'm going to sound cliche but hear me out. How was she expected to move on when she practically had to live with a ghost? Hotch's presence was felt everywhere she went. Her new office, the round table room, the jet. As I've mentioned before, their relationship was much more deeper than both of them would ever like to admit. And of course, that would result in her scars taking a lot longer to heal. 

I think that what affected her the most was Hotch's decision not to return to the BAU. It was something she was clearly never expecting. Not after everything they've been through.

Before this scene, she says something about not being sure dating in this line of work was the right thing for her. She was just fine with Mark during s11, wasn't she? So what event could've happened to her during s12-14 that drastically changed her perspective? I'm putting all my money in Hotch and her disappointment when learning he wasn't returning. 

[eli-kittim]

Science & God’s Existence

By Author Eli Kittim

Can We Reject Paul’s Vision Based On the Fact that No One Saw It?

Given that none of Paul’s companions saw or heard the content of his visionary experience (Acts 9), on the road to Damascus, some critics have argued that it must be rejected as unreliable and inauthentic. Let’s test that hypothesis. Thoughts are common to all human beings. Are they not? However, no one can “prove” that they have thoughts. That doesn’t mean that they don’t have any. Just because others can’t see or hear your thoughts doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Obviously, a vision, by definition, is called a “vision” precisely because it is neither seen nor observed by others. So, this preoccupation with “evidence” and “scientism” has gone too far. We demand proof for things that are real but cannot be proven. According to philosopher William Lane Craig, the irony is that science can’t even prove the existence of the external world, even though it presupposes it.

No one has ever seen an electron, or the substance we call “dark matter,” yet physicists presuppose them. Up until recently we could not see, under any circumstances, ultraviolet rays, X – rays, or gamma rays. Does that mean they didn’t exist before their detection? Of course not. Recently, with the advent of better instruments and technology we are able to detect what was once invisible to the human eye. Gamma rays were first observed in 1900. Ultraviolet rays were discovered in 1801. X-rays were discovered in 1895. So, PRIOR to the 19th century, no one could see these types of electromagnetic radiation with either the naked eye or by using microscopes, telescopes, or any other available instruments. Prior to the 19th century, these phenomena could not be established. Today, however, they are established as facts. What made the difference? Technology (new instruments)!

If you could go back in time to Ancient Greece and tell people that in the future they could sit at home and have face-to-face conversations with people who are actually thousands of miles away, would they have believed you? According to the empirical model of that day, this would have been utterly impossible! It would have been considered science fiction. My point is that what we cannot see today with the naked eye might be seen or detected tomorrow by means of newer, more sophisticated technologies!

——-

Can We Use The Scientific Model to Address Metaphysical Questions?

Using empirical methods of “observation” to determine what is true and what is false is a very *simplistic* way of understanding reality in all its complexity. For example, we don’t experience 10 dimensions of reality. We only experience a 3-dimensional world, with time functioning as a 4th dimension. Yet Quantum physics tells us there are, at least, 10 dimensions to reality: https://www.google.com/amp/s/phys.org/news/2014-12-universe-dimensions.amp

Prior to the discoveries of primitive microscopes, in the 17th century, you couldn’t see germs, bacteria, viruses, or microorganisms with the naked eye! For all intents and purposes, these microorganisms DID NOT EXIST! It would therefore be quite wrong to assume that, because a large number of people (i.e. a consensus) cannot see it, an unobservable phenomenon must be ipso facto nonexistent.

Similarly, prophetic experiences (e.g. visions) cannot be tested by any instruments of modern technology, nor investigated by the methods of science. Because prophetic experiences are of a different kind, the assumption that they do not have objective reality is a hermeneutical mistake that leads to a false conclusion. Physical phenomena are perceived by the senses, whereas metaphysical phenomena are not perceived by the senses but rather by pure consciousness. Therefore, if we use the same criteria for metaphysical perceptions that we use for physical ones (which are derived exclusively from the senses), that would be mixing apples and oranges. The hermeneutical mistake is to use empirical observation (that only tests physical phenomena) as “a standard” for testing the truth value of metaphysical phenomena. In other words, the criteria used to measure physical phenomena are quite inappropriate and wholly inapplicable to their metaphysical counterparts.

——-

Are the “Facts” of Science the Only Truth, While All Else is Illusion?

Whoever said that scientific “facts” are *necessarily* true? On the contrary, according to Bertrand Russell and Immanuel Kant, only a priori statements are *necessarily* true (i.e. logical & mathematical propositions), which are not derived from the senses! The senses can be deceptive. That’s why every 100 years or so new “facts” are discovered that replace old ones. So what happened to the old facts? Well, they were not necessarily true in the epistemological sense. And this process keeps repeating seemingly ad infinitum. If that is the case, how then can we trust the empirical model, devote ourselves to its shrines of truth, and worship at its temples (universities)? Read the “The Structure of Scientific Revolutions” by Thomas Kuhn, a classic book on the history of science and how scientific paradigms change over time.

——-

Cosmology, Modern Astronomy, & Philosophy Seem to Point to the Existence of God

If you studied cosmology and modern astronomy, you would be astounded by the amazing beauty, order, structure, and precision of the various movements of the planets and stars. The Big Bang Theory is the current cosmological model which asserts that the universe had a beginning. Astoundingly, the very first line of the Bible (the opening sentence, i.e. Gen. 1.1) makes the exact same assertion. The fine tuning argument demonstrates how the slightest change to any of the fundamental physical constants would have changed the course of history so that the evolution of the universe would not have proceeded in the way that it did, and life itself would not have existed. What is more, the cosmological argument demonstrates the existence of a “first cause,” which can be inferred via the concept of causation. This is not unlike Leibniz’ “principle of sufficient reason” nor unlike Parmenides’ “nothing comes from nothing” (Gk. οὐδὲν ἐξ οὐδενός; Lat. ex nihilo nihil fit)! All these arguments demonstrate that there must be a cosmic intelligence (i.e. a necessary being) that designed and sustained the universe.

We live in an incredibly complex and mysterious universe that we sometimes take for granted. Let me explain. The Earth is constantly traveling at 67,000 miles per hour and doesn’t collide with anything. Think about how fast that is. The speed of an average bullet is approximately 1,700 mph. And the Earth’s speed is 67,000 mph! That’s mind-boggling! Moreover, the Earth rotates roughly 1,000 miles per hour, yet you don’t fall off the grid, nor do you feel this gyration because of gravity. And I’m not even discussing the ontological implications of the enormous information-processing capacity of the human brain, its ability to invent concepts, its tremendous intelligence in the fields of philosophy, mathematics, and the sciences, and its modern technological innovations.

It is therefore disingenuous to reduce this incredibly complex and extraordinarily deep existence to simplistic formulas and pseudoscientific oversimplifications. As I said earlier, science cannot even “prove” the existence of the external world, much less the presence of a transcendent one. The logical positivist Ludwig Wittgenstein said that metaphysical questions are unanswerable by science. Yet atheist critics are incessantly comparing Paul’s and Jesus’ “experiences” to the scientific model, and even classifying them as deliberate literary falsehoods made to pass as facts because they don’t meet scholarly and academic parameters. The present paper has tried to show that this is a bogus argument! It does not simply question the “epistemological adequacy” of atheistic philosophies, but rather the methodological (and therefore epistemic) legitimacy of the atheist program per se.

——-

[argylemnwrites]

Why Are We Still Waiting? - Chapter 3

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment universe)

Word Count: ~4900

Rating: PG-13 (brief language)

Summary: A trip to meet the newest Beaumont isn’t off to the greatest start.

Author’s Note: So, since it has been ages since I updated this story, I feel like a quick recap is in order. Drake and Riley are in Cordonia to meet Savannah and Bertrand’s new baby girl, Caroline. They just met Liam’s new girlfriend, Iris, and her innocent questions about their postponed wedding made it clear that Drake is very frustrated by the fact they aren’t married yet. To catch up/jog your memory fully on this series, you can check out the It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment masterlist (link in bio).

“Oh, for Christ’s sake,” Drake groaned as Riley reached forward to start scanning across the radio stations.

“What?” she asked. He noticed her give a tiny shrug out of the corner of his eye as she leaned back after settling on a Greek Top 40 station.

“I knew it. I swear you pick this one just to annoy me, Liu.” Drake had made the mistake of complaining about this particular station on one of their first trips back to Cordonia, right before she’d gone back to university. It was all over-produced and sugary, and the DJs were just fucking obnoxious. Of course, that last point probably didn’t actually bother Riley, since she couldn’t understand a word they said.

“Maybe I just like this station.” 

Drake glanced over and took in the giant shit-eating grin plastered across her face and just rolled his eyes. “Uh huh, sure. Let’s ignore the fact that this station plays a ton of songs in Greek.”

“I’m just trying to broaden my cultural horizons.”

“Says the woman who refused to watch Parasite because it has subtitles.’”

“If I wanted to read something, I would pick up a book,” she said, but she did lean forward again to flip over to a different station. 

“Thank you,” Drake said, clicking on the turn signal as he switched into the right lane.

“You make it too easy sometimes,” she said, Drake noticing that she shrugged a little out of the corner of his eye. “If you didn’t act like that station was pure torture, I probably wouldn’t enjoy it so much.”

All Drake could do was shake his head. “You know, some people might not be so open about liking something out of spite.”

“No, it’s not spite.” Drake glanced over and raised his eyebrows at that, so Riley elaborated. “Spite is mean-spirited. I know you like my teasing too much for it to be spite.”

“Really.” Drake deadpanned, although he wasn’t able to hold back his grin and fully play along.

“Uh huh. What other explanation is there for you hanging around me after all these years?”

“I can’t think of a single one,” he said, earning him a flick of her fingers against his shoulder.

“Well I guess I will have to keep teasing you then. Otherwise I might have to settle for a guy who would have made me get up before six this morning.”

Drake looked over at her at that. Even after years together, her ability to jump from intensely sarcastic to gently sincere in an instant still amazed him. Last night, Maxwell had called and offered to pick them up from the palace after dropping off Mom and Aunt Leona at the airport, but they had a very early departure time. Drake had turned him down, feeling like it would be a shitty move to force Riley to wake up early on vacation, particularly since she never complained about using her limited vacation days to visit his family. Yet here she was, appreciative of his gesture that cost him nothing.

“Maybe I just didn’t want to spend two hours in the car with Maxwell.”

She let out a laugh at that. “Well, at least I rank as better company in your book.”

“Always, Liu. Always.”

“Seriously though, thank you.”

“Of course.”

Her left hand settled on his shoulder and gave him a little squeeze at that, but she didn’t say anything else, just glanced out the window as Drake turned off the main road and onto the smaller one that led to the Beaumont’s estate. Within a few minutes, they were pulling onto the driveway. As they climbed out of the car, they heard an excited little voice calling from the direction of the estate’s entrance. 

“Uncle Drake!”

Drake closed the driver’s door and pivoted around quickly, crouching down and extending his arms. Bartie ran across the drive and threw his little arms around Drake’s neck, laughing as Drake scooped him up and hugged him tightly. 

“We saw your car diving! I wanted to go out. Say ‘hi’ like Mommy or Daddy. Uncle Maxwell said I had to stay inside. Had to stand still ‘til you stopped,” Bartie rambled off, barely taking time to take a breath. 

“Thought that a little toddler darting in front of the car might not be the best start to your visit,” added Maxwell, strolling over to their car. “Hey, little blossom,” he added as he hugged Riley.

“Oh, you don’t get to just ‘little blossom’ me after you convinced Liam to keep me away!” she chuckled as she gave him a playful shove. “What happened to me being a Beaumont and always welcome here?”

“He told you guys?” Maxwell asked, turning to glance at Drake.

“Of course he did!” Riley said, drawing Maxwell’s attention back to her. She laughed a bit and shook her head before walking around the car to Drake and Bartie. “Hey, Bartie! Wow, you’ve gotten so big!” Drake passed Bartie over to her, watching as she gave him a squeeze, but Bartie started squirming in her arms, clearly wanting to be released from the obligatory hugs.

Riley placed him down, and he turned right back to Drake, grabbing his hand and tugging on it. “Uncle Drake, come see my new playhouse!” he said, attempting to drag Drake along after him as he started moving back towards the estate.

“Hey, my favorite dude, do you remember why Aunt Riley and Uncle Drake are here?” Maxwell said, crouching in front of Bartie. 

Bartie kicked his foot against the driveway before he answered. “Everyone wants to see Caroline. But she’s boring. She doesn’t do anything!”

Drake was trying to figure out the best way to deal with his nephew’s clear jealousy, but Riley stepped forward and bent down next to Maxwell. “I would love to see your playhouse, Bartie.”

“What do you say?” added Maxwell. “Why don’t we show Aunt Riley while Uncle Drake goes to see your mom and dad and sister?”

Bartie was silent for a few moments, but then nodded, grabbing Riley and Maxwell’s hands and heading inside without a glance back. Maxwell chuckled, twisted around, and called out to Drake, “You remember where the nursery is, right?”

Drake nodded and raised a hand in acknowledgment, taking the time to pop the trunk and grab their luggage before venturing inside himself. He went straight upstairs, pausing only to place their bags in their usual room, before heading down the hall, turning to the left and entering the private quarters, making his way to the small room located all the way towards the end of the hallway, the last door on the right.

It seemed like just yesterday he was building a crib in there for Bartie when Savannah was moving in. The room looked much the same, the walls still a pale grey, the furniture all pure white. The layout hadn’t changed much, with the crib placed against the far wall beneath a painting of stars shining over a lake with a squid waving a tentacle in the air, the changing table right next to it, and the dresser next to the rocking chair in the corner. The only thing that looked different, as far as Drake could remember, was the sheet tucked around the crib mattress. Back when this had been Bartie’s room, the sheets were covered in a variety of zoo animals, the only splash of color in the otherwise greyscale nursery. Now, they were a black and white check, much more subdued.

Laying in the center of the crib, wrapped tightly in a light pink blanket, was a sleeping baby. Drake didn’t have a lot of experience with infants, but even he had heard you never wake a sleeping baby, so he stepped further into the room carefully, trying not to make a sound. When he reached the crib, he couldn’t help but stare. This was Caroline. His niece.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, just taking her in, but eventually Savannah’s voice caught his attention.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s a bit creepy to just sneak into someone’s home and watch their child sleep?”

Drake turned his head to look over his shoulder. His sister was standing in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest, an eyebrow cocked. “Hey, Sav. Maxwell sent me up here.”

“I should have known,” she said, walking over to join him by the crib, wrapping an arm around his waist as she gave him a half-hug. “I see you’ve met Caroline.”

“She’s beautiful,” Drake said, looking down again at the little baby in the crib, a few fine brown hairs covering her head. His niece. She was so tiny. It was kind of overwhelming, seeing her like this. When he’d met Bartie, it had been such a total shock that he even existed. Plus, he had been so much older than this. “Congratulations.”

“You can pick her up, you know.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want to disturb her.”

Savannah let out a few little chuckles. “She is the one who disturbs everyone most of the time. Besides, she’s just about due for a feeding.”

“I don’t know…”

“Come on, Drake. Just go wash your hands, and then you can hold her.”

And so a minute later, Drake found himself being handed his niece, so small and fragile-seeming. “Is this okay?” he asked, trying to make sure he walked the fine line between being gentle and holding her firmly as he tucked her against his chest.

“You aren’t going to hurt her!” Savannah laughed out.

“I just… I’ve never held a baby this little before. I don’t want to mess this up,” Drake said. Caroline felt so light in his arms. She was blinking, slowly becoming more alert after being shifted from her crib. Her bluish-grey eyes finally seemed to lock on his. “Hey, Caroline,” he said, “I’m your Uncle Drake.” But before he could think of anything else to say, she opened her mouth and let out a piercing wail.

Drake glanced over at Savannah. “What do I do?”

She laughed again. “God, what is Riley going to do with you when it’s your kid? She’s a baby, not an alien. She’s either hungry, sleepy, or has a dirty diaper.” But before she could poke fun at him any further, she reached over and shifted Caroline into her arms. “And since she’s hungry, I’m really the only one who can handle that.”

“Oh, do you want privacy or should I…”

Savannah shrugged. “I use a nursing blanket since Barthelemy walked in on me and made things real awkward.” And with that she settled onto the rocking chair, adjusting her top, positioning Caroline, then tugging a little cover over herself.

“What did Barthelemy do?” Drake asked as he moved to the side wall, leaning against it.

“Just acted real weird about the whole thing, talked to Bert about reminding me how a duchess should comport herself.”

“What a jackass.”

Savannah let out a sigh. “Bertrand was very apologetic when he relayed the message. But using a nursing blanket is not a big deal, and if it makes things easier for Bert with his dad…” She trailed off, staring down at Caroline, reaching under the nursing blanket to adjust something before she spoke again. “Having him around here has not exactly been some big happy family. I don’t know if his illness changed him, or if my memories of him were just fuzzy, but he’s an odd duck.”

Drake glanced over to the doorway. “Uhh, Sav. Not that I care, but the door is wide open and-”

She laughed and shook her head. “He’s at his rehab and physical therapy appointment this morning.”

“Ahh, gotcha. Any more talk of him trying to regain the title of duke?” Back when Barthelemy had returned to the estate, Sav had confided that it seemed like he was hinting that Bertrand should renounce his title and return it to his father. But since their wedding, it had seemed like most of that talk had died.

“No, he and Godfrey laid on the pressure after the honeymoon, but as soon as we announced the pregnancy, he backed off. His new mission seems to be to convince Liam that either Bartie or Caroline should be appointed as heir to the throne, which is crazy to think about, but it keeps him busy, so…” Savannah tilted her head to the side and raised her eyebrows, letting the thought just hang there in the room. 

Drake was bothered by the implications of that statement, but he knew that pressing Savannah on it would not really get him anywhere. As inappropriate and concerning as he found the implication that Savannah and Bertrand weren’t shutting Barthelemy down completely with that shit, he knew voicing his objections now would not solve anything. Discussing this all with Liam would make much more sense. So he just filed the statement away and moved to change the subject.

“Is it easier this time around, knowing what you are doing?”

Savannah smiled before glancing down at Caroline. “I think it’s more that I have a support system. And yes, I know it was my choice to not have one before,” she added before Drake could interject. “I guess in some ways at least I know what to expect, but Caroline is way more cranky than Bartie was at this age. Besides, I don’t think any parent ever really feels like they know what they are doing.”

“Nah, you seem to have it down.”

“It’s just a lot of trial and error. You’ll see when you guys have a baby.”

Drake ran his hand across his jaw, glancing down and watching his toes nudge into the baseboard. “I have a feeling that’s gonna be a while for us.”

“Oh come on! Don’t you want your kids to grow up with their cousins?”

Drake swallowed before taking a breath. “Of course I do.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

“Well, getting married to start.” Shit. “Not that I think people have to be married to raise a kid or-”

“Relax, Drake,” Savannah said, cutting off his apologetic ramble. “It’s not like Bartie was a planned pregnancy.”

“Neither was Caroline,” he thought, but kept his mouth shut, not wanting to risk offending his sister or make her feel like he was judging her and her family. 

“I know you have an old-fashioned streak-”

“Hey!” Drake interjected, but Savannah just kept on going.

“-but I think you guys should think about having kids soon. You were going to be married by now anyway! And isn’t that the modern, New York thing to do?”

Drake didn’t know where all this was coming from. Why she was so insistent about something that didn’t involve her. But man, he wished she would move on to any other topic of conversation. Because what could he say? That he was ready to be married with kids? That he would have no problem starting a family with Riley tomorrow? He couldn’t share that with his sister, at least not without sharing things about Riley he was pretty confident she would never want Savannah to know.

The fact that she had decided on a birth control option that would last for three years made it pretty clear where her head was at with the whole kid thing. She wasn’t really ready, not by a long shot. And until she was ready, there was really nothing he could do about it. Drake was just going to have to wait until she felt like the time was right, whenever that might be.

Maybe it was just that he was four years older than her. Maybe that’s why he felt so ready to take those next steps when she seemed so unbothered, so willing to just roll along. And to be fair, it’s not like they were ever going to be a couple like Hana and Catherine, who had timelines and life plans and five year goals. But deep down, Drake couldn’t help but wonder why Riley seemed so ambivalent about them getting married and starting a family. Was she unsure about something in their relationship, unsure about something with him?

It’s not that she didn’t want kids ever, as far as he knew. She’d mentioned wanting kids before. And they’d planned that first wedding without issue. But now it seemed like she was stuck. No rush to get married. Not thinking about having kids for years. And Drake didn’t know how to approach the whole topic without seeming like he was demanding things. Putting pressure on her. He was happy. They were happy. It was something his younger self would have never thought possible, and it should definitely be enough. But maybe he was selfish, because there were times where it just didn’t feel like enough.

Maybe it would be helpful to talk to someone about this, but that would feel like violating Riley’s trust. He knew Riley had her therapist she talked to, and he was sure their relationship was a topic of conversation there, but that was different. The therapist wasn’t someone who knew Drake, who was his friend or family. Anyone Drake would feel comfortable talking about this with knew Riley. Knew her well, quite frankly. 

So for now, he was just going to have to keep moving forward. Keep hoping that Riley would start to feel ready soon. And at the moment, that meant sidestepping his sister’s questions and prodding.

“Geez, Sav! We haven’t even been here for an hour, and you are laying it on really thick.”

“Sorry, sorry! I know it’s not my business! If it makes you feel better, it’s not just with you. Kiara also told me I needed to back off when I started asking her about when she and Oliver were going to have kids right after their wedding.”

“Wait, when did Kiara get married?”

“Oh, Drake! At least you have an excuse for not knowing all the news now that you live abroad.” she said, shaking her head. “They eloped maybe… four months ago?”

And then Savannah was off, filling Drake in on tons of gossip he didn’t give two shits about. But it made her happy, and it was a safe topic of conversation, so who was he to complain?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Riley sat crossed legged on the floor in Bartie’s room at a little table, Maxwell seated across from her. Meanwhile, Bartie was hard at work at his toy kitchen set, organizing pieces of plastic food on plates. He wanted to show off and make “lunch” for them. Riley supposed that this was probably a common way for a three and a half year old to want to play, not that she had any such memories from her own childhood. What wasn’t common, she was sure, was the formal table setting Bartie had carefully placed in front of each of them, the perfectly pressed white apron he’d asked Maxwell to help him tie on, or the fact that he was arranging his plastic lettuce, eggs, and meat on actual china.

“Looks excellent, my favorite dude,” said Maxwell as Bartie carefully carried over several plates to the table. “What’s on the menu?”

“Steak tartare with a fresh greens salad,” he said before turning and heading back towards his little kitchen.

“Wait, aren’t you going to join us?” asked Riley, trying to keep from bursting out in laughter at the thought of a preschooler preparing such a meal.

“Aunt Riley, no aprons at the table!” he said his eyes wide as he turned back to face her.

“Yeah, come on Aunt Riley, where are your manners?” Maxwell winked before twisting to look over at Bartie. “You need any help untying your apron there?”

“No, I can do it,” Bartie ground out, tugging on the ties without much luck.

“Okay, well I’m right here if you do need help,” Maxwell responded. Within five seconds, Bartie was back, standing right next to him.

“Thanks, Uncle Maxwell!” he said, happily pulling the apron off and jogging over to hang it up nicely once Maxwell had it untied.

“You’re working hard to maintain your title as best uncle.” Riley said.

“Every time you guys come to visit, he suddenly wants to go fishing and camping instead of having dance parties with me.”

Riley laughed at that. “We’re new and exciting, what can I say.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re the favorite aunt by default.”

“What does default mean?” asked Bartie, plopping down on the floor next to them.

“It means no other choices, dude.”

“Oh,” Bartie said, nodding before picking up his silverware, pretending to cut into the plastic in front of him with surprising coordination.

“So has Uncle Maxwell been hanging out with you a lot since your sister came home?”

Bartie shrugged. “I guess.”

“We’ve definitely been seeing some jealousy,” Maxwell said with a nod. “I kind of thought this might happen, so I made sure to clear my schedule for a handful of weeks around the due date.”

“That was thoughtful of you.”

Maxwell tilted his head to the side and smiled. “Hey, I’m favorite uncle for a reason.”

“Uncle Drake is my favorite,” said Bartie, causing Riley to burst out laughing.

“Dude, that wasn’t the deal! You’re gonna pay for this,” Maxwell said, leaning over and wiggling his fingers. “The squid’s about to attack.” With that, Maxwell started tickling Bartie, triggering wild giggles and Bartie rolling backwards on the floor.

“Bartie!” Bertrand’s voice cut across the room. Riley twisted over to find him standing in the hallway, his eyes scanning over the scene in front of him. “We don’t make our guests sit on the floor, do we?”

“No, Daddy.”

“Bertrand, it’s fine-” Riley started, but he held up a hand, cutting her off.

“What do we say, Bartie?”

“Sorry, Aunt Riley.”

All Riley could do was nod, accepting an apology from a toddler that felt entirely unnecessary.

“Good,” said Bertrand, “Now go wash your hands and get cleaned up for lunch.”

Bartie scampered out of the room, turning to his left in the hallway.

“I offered to play with him, Bertrand.”

“Well, he was told that you were coming to visit Caroline. He should have known better than to monopolize your time.”

Riley opened her mouth, ready to respond, but Maxwell grabbed her wrist and shook his head. 

“How are you, by the way? I apologize for not being there to greet you and Drake.”

“I’m good, Bertrand,” she said as she pushed herself up on her feet, walking over and giving him a loose hug. “Congrats, by the way.”

“Yes, thank you. Drake and Savannah have Caroline in the private lounge if you want to go meet her. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go check and make sure Bartie isn’t making a complete mess in the bathroom.”

And with that, Bertrand was off, following the path down the hallway that his son had just taken.

“Yikes,” said Riley as soon as he was out of earshot.

“Yeah, I know,” replied Maxwell, looping his arm around her shoulders and guiding her in the opposite direction. “That is another reason I made sure I didn’t have any need to be on set or in LA for any writers meetings for a few months.”

“He’s more of a tight ass than ever.”

“I think he’s very anxious because he missed this part of Bartie’s life. The amount of research he did and the number of parenting books he read is insane. But any time any little thing isn’t what he expects, he flips out.”

“What does Savannah think about that?” Riley asked, following Maxwell down the stairs.

“Either she’s too sleep deprived to notice, or she’s just pretending not to see it. I decided to give him two months to settle into things. If he’s still snapping at everyone then, well… I guess I’ll have to stage an intervention or something.”

“Wow. Well at least you’re here to look out for the kid.”

“Yup, figure I can keep things normal-ish for him. Though I will say between watching Bertrand spiral and hearing Caroline’s shrieks, any faint consideration I might have given to parenthood has gone straight out the window.”

Riley laughed, prompting Maxwell to keep going. “I’m serious! I know I told you I was pretty sure I was good being the fun uncle, but these past few weeks have really locked in that decision. Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but Bartie is right - Caroline is boring. And loud. And I am so glad she is not my responsibility.”

All Riley could do was laugh more. “Do you need me to make up an excuse for you so you don’t need to be in the same room with her?”

Maxwell nudged her with his shoulder. “Oh, laugh it up! I don’t have any issues with her. She just confirmed that fatherhood is not for me, no matter how cute she is when she isn’t screaming her head off.”

At that point, they entered the lounge, so Riley dropped any further teasing she had for Maxwell. “Hey, Savannah. Congrats!” she said, walking across the room and giving her a hug.

“Thank you, Riley. It’s so good to see you!” Savannah replied as they pulled apart. Riley moved to sit down next to Drake on the couch, who was cradling a baby against his shoulder.

“This must be Caroline,” she said, watching as Drake tapped his hand against her back lightly.

“Either that or I have a lot of explaining to do,” Drake said, glancing over at her. Riley just smiled and nudged him lightly with her elbow.

“Drake, why don’t you let Riley hold her?” Savannah asked. “She should get to meet her aunt, too.”

“Do you want to?” Drake asked, his eyebrows raised.

“Of course,” said Riley, reaching over and helping him peel the tiny little girl off his chest, nestling her into her own arms.

Caroline was awake, her eyes roving around as Riley shifted back onto the couch more fully to try and get comfortable. After a few seconds, they seemed to settle on Riley’s face. All she could really do was stare back, taking in this child, this baby girl who might not have been planned, but would certainly be loved by so many.

“Yeah, I know I’m a stranger right now. But in a couple of decades, I’ll be the one you come to when you want nightclub recommendations in New York City.”

“Hey, I want in on that invite,” said Maxwell as Savannah let out a few chuckles. Riley glanced over at Drake, expecting him to be rolling his eyes or shaking his head, but instead was caught off guard by the intensity of his gaze. He was staring at her holding Caroline with such passion, such longing, she felt almost exposed. All she could think to do was drop her eyes back to the baby, not wanting to dwell on what that meant at that moment.

Unfortunately, Savannah must have noticed Drake as well, because she said, “Oh, I see that look. ‘A while’ my ass. I bet you’ll be pregnant by the end of the year.”

Drake let out a sort of sputtering cough at his sister’s comment, but before he could say anything, could so much as get a word out, Riley felt her own mouth opening. Her own response spilled out so glibly, without a second of thought. It was almost like she heard someone else saying the words, even as she knew she was the one speaking.

“Don’t give him any ideas.”

She felt Drake stiffen beside her, saw Maxwell shifting in his seat, and heard Savannah mutter out a little apology, but all of that was just background noise as her brain screamed at her. How could she have been so fucking stupid? What possessed her to say that? Or at least to phrase it like that? There were ways to shut down Savannah’s prying without implying that Drake had baby fever and she wanted no part of it.

The uncomfortable silence in the room was broken as Bertrand and Bartie entered. “Lunch is ready in the dining room,” said Bertrand, gesturing to the door behind him. Bertrand then stepped over to Riley. “I can go put her down,” he said, gesturing at his daughter still in Riley’s arms.

“Oh, sure thing,” said Riley, passing him Caroline before standing up. Savannah, Maxwell, and Bartie had already left the room, but Drake was still seated, his eyes locked on his knee that was bouncing up and down.

“Drake, I-” she started as soon as Bertrand had stepped out, extending her hand to help him to his feet. But Drake ignored the gesture, pushing his hands into the cushions of the couch instead.

“I’m hungry. Let’s just go eat, Riley.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t-.”

“It’s fine, Riley, Really. We can talk later” He nodded at her and started walking towards the door, leaving Riley to follow after him. And more than the brush off, more than his refusal to hold her hand, the fact that he’d not called her ‘Liu’ let her know that she had made a huge fucking mess.

Perma: @walkerswhiskeygirl @octobereighth @kimmiedoo5 @mom2000aggie

TRR/TRH: @twinkleallnight @iaminlovewithtrr @mskaneko @axwalker @jovialyouthmusic @marshmallowsandfire @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @princessleac1 @ladyangel70 @debramcg1106 @masterofbluff  

Drake/MC: @no-one-u-know  @iplaydrake

ICWAM: @thequeenofpixels @sunnyxdazed @sammie0220​

[novemberandmay]

As She Falls

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Her wings pointed to the sky as she was pulled into Earth’s gravity. Her limbs were also pointed up, except for her head and torso. She watched as clouds passed her, the rough wind trying to crush her non-existent body into molecules. Even though she wasn’t in her physical body, she could still feel the wind? How weird. But she was uncaring of this, as she crashed into her hospital room. She could finally see how her body was, after all this time. She looked at it, finding her body looking pathetic. It was thin, overly thin, and covered in bandages. She was hooked up to so many machines, it was a miracle she was still alive. But while observing this, she heard the door in front of her open. Glancing up at it, she saw something surprising.

“Chloe? What are you doing here?” She asked, shocked. But she didn’t get an answer, since she didn’t have vocal cords or a way to voice her thoughts. Chloe stood in the door way, her expression pained. She started to mumble things, things that didn’t make sense. Chloe seemed crazy and possessed at that moment, but it didn’t matter to Marinette. She raised her hand to try and get Chloe’s attention but was covered in light. She was forced into the older girl’s body, into the girl’s very soul.

When she opened her eyes, the light had make her close them earlier, she was surprised to see a little girl in a hotel’s lobby. She was gripping a teddy bear, but seemed upset, maybe a tad sad. The girl stayed still for what seemed like days before she turned around and passed through Marinette. The girl stormed out of the room, tears leaving her angry expression. Marinette ran after the girl, finally recognizing her as Chloe. She found the girl again in a hotel room, where items around her seemed broken. Then a door sounded behind her and worried screams rang out. As this happened, everything warped and twirled, ‘til she saw  her Chloe, the teenaged Chloe. She was sitting on a couch, her expression somber. This time, though, she could see that Chloe was able to spot her. As she had glanced over at her.

“Chloe? What’s happening? Are you okay? Do I-?”

“How pathetic, Dupain-Cheng even haunts my dreams. Great.”

“What? This isn’t a dream Chloe! I’am really here, I’m fin-“ Chloe’s crazied laugh sprang out, startling Marinette.

“No need to lie, you illusion. I saw her dead body myself, I know she’s not alive. Not anymore.”

“But I’m fine Chloe! I’m just fi-“

“SHUT UP!” Chloe screamed, throwing a teacup at Marinette’s face. It hit her, causing blood to stream down her face. Chloe stormed up to her, her rage filled expression being the main focus. The blonde girl raised her finger up and pointed at her, her elbows bent.

“NOW YOU LISTEN HERE! MARINETTE IS DEAD. SH-she left me. SHE’S JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! LEAVING ME AT THEIR BEST CONVENIENCE!! JUS-just like mama. She’s ju-just like her-r.” Her screams became stutters as her voice became pathetic. Marinette’s eyes softened and she reached her hands around Chloe, hugging her tightly. Chloe started to sob, falling to her knees, bring Marinette down with her.

“WH-why?! WHY am I noT ENOUGH?!?! WhY-“

It was hours before the emotions inside her seized, leaving her feeling empty.

“I’m sorry Chloe. I promise I won’t leave you again.”

“Y-you promise?”

“I promise Chloe. I swear that I will wake up and you won’t be alone.”

As they hugged tighter, everything went white.

She was suddenly transported back to the hotel room, where she was not alone. On the ground, holding her hand, was Jon. He was sobbing, and looked as if he would collapse into a coma soon.

“Oh Jon! What happened?”

There was no response as she looked over his shoulder, he just kept crying. She laid her hand on the boy’s shoulder, where the familiar bright light surrounded her.

This time, she was alone in a house. But there was noise some where, it sounded pained. She rushed around, opening doors left and right until she found the cause. Jon.

She found Jon huddled in a corner of a kid’s room, sniffling. Her face lost it’s tension, as she sat beside him. She was ready to hear his tale.

“Did you know I can always tell when someone lies to me? That everyone does it a lot? Even ma’ and pa’ lie to me. Only you and Dames don’t lie that much, at least not to me. You tell me when you can’t tell me something, you try to be honest. But now you’re gone. And now Damian lies. No one tells me anything true anymore...”

“But it’s fine. It’s just like before I knew Dames! I can handle it...I hope. I’m used to you both being honest, so I don’t know if I can handle it now. So much has changed, some much is different...why can’t it go back to before you jumped? Everything was okay then- I could fix it! I could help you, I could at least try. But reality doesn’t work that way, right? Yeah. So I can’t save you, I can only imagine that in my wildest fantasies. Did ya’ know I used to think of you and Dames as my parents for a bit? I know you aren’t, but I just wanted to imagine it. Having a mum that’s not running off to get the latest catch, one that comforts me. Having a pa’ that’s not off saving the world every 5 seconds, but is beside me, even if a little reluctantly. But who cares? I’m just being ungrateful! I mean- who else wouldn’t want Superman as their dad? And Lois Lane, the famous and renowned reporter, as their mom? If anyone else knew of my position, they would want it! So why? Why don’t I want to be their child? Why do I want to be normal? To not tell when someone’s lying? I know it’s wrong and I’m just being ungrateful, but-“

“Jon.”

“...”

“Listen to me. Nothings wrong with you. I would love to be your mum, and I’m glad you think that way. It’s not bad to feel this way. Your emotions are valid. You are valid. I love you, I love you so, so much. So please, don’t think this way. I’ll be your mom, I’ll be anyone you want me to be, okay? ‘Cus I love you. I love you like a mother would love their son.”

Marinette raises Jon’s hand to her chest, smiling at him.

“See? I’m not lying, am I? I promise to never lie to you, no matter what.”

Jon stares at her, tears gathering in his eyes. His mouth twitches, he looked pained, sad.

“MAMAAA!” He screamed at her, lunging at her. He gather her into a hug, sobbing. He cried, cried for hours. He wouldn’t let her go, as he collapsed on to her. He cried into her hair, as she pat his back. Marinette hugged him back, caring for him like a mother would.

“...thank you..” Jon mumbled. Marinette only smiled in return, watching as he faded away. She looked up and reached for the sky, a bright light covering her. It felt right. She felt happy.

Marinette appeared back in the hospital room, now with a new person.

‘Damian?’

He said nothing as he grabbed her human body’s hand. His face was remorseful and sorrowful, his scowl now including tears and forced look. He was holding back sadness, she could tell. She wouldn’t let this continue though, so she walked up to him. She stopped right beside him standing straight. She bent over, and reached for his shoulders. She gave him one last hug in this form, before zipping into his body, ready for her next conformation.

Taglist: @miraculous-ninja @rebecarojas07 @toodaloo-kangaroo @solangelo252  @neakco @dood-space @jjmjjktth  @animeweebgirl @nickristus-dreamer @talushi2002 @miraculouslydumb @stellar-star @myazael @crystalangelluna 

Notes: I know it’s a bit rushed, but I just had to finish the idea as soon as I thought it. Hope you liked it! The taglist is open, and prolly will always be, just so you know. I’ve had a great day today, I took my NWEA and made an amazing score, so I’m proud. So are my friends, like May. Anyways, I got off topic, have a nice day y’all! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! Till next time! Buh-bye!

(DIDNT MEAN TO POST IT WHEN I DID, OOPS)

-November

[akisata-moved]

a little bit of divine worldbuilding 🕊️

hi everyone! i said i would make a post about my angel worldbuilding and the lore surrounding it, so here we are. let's get into this!

(as a forewarning: this got really long really fast. sorry lol)

i. at the beginning of the universe: what's the deal with god, heaven, and hell?

you know... this guy. ...or, guys? i use they pronouns for god, not because they're nonbinary rep or anything but because the classic collection uses they pronouns for god because they are literally plural. so, multiple guys.

a. the universe's first inhabitants 🌟

we can't have angels (or anything, really) without god. so... what is god?

to put it simply, "god" is a small collective of beings that hail from a primordial race of creatures called aeons. contrary to popular belief, "god" did not create the universe as a whole.

that being said, they WERE the first beings to exist in the universe; gifted with near-immortality and the power of creation, they were essentially burdened the cosmic purpose of bringing the universe to life. think of them as... like, demiurges, really. despite being the first beings in the universe, they didn't really start popping up until ~370,000 years into the universe existing.

(whether or not there is a "supreme" being above them isn't something i've given TOO much thought to. my working idea is that the universe is quite literally a supreme being in itself.)

so, our "god" is not the only ones of their kind. there isn't a large amount of them, but considering the size of the universe and how it's ever-expanding... there's enough of them to go around, you know.

as the early stages of the universe progress, they start to become aware of the existence of each other. it's difficult to be what is essentially a god and be unaware of the presences that surround you.

the attitudes that they held towards each other varied from aeon to aeon. some of them worked in tandem, others remained solitary. some of them competed with others, and others dedicated themselves to watching over their corner of the universe and making it a home.

there weren't many "overstepped boundaries" in the infinitely expanding stretch of space they had at their disposal. in the early stages of the universe, there was no need for that kind of thing. they all mostly stayed in their own lanes.

during the early epochs, they mostly just spent their time experimenting, growing and changing, and learning the ins and outs of their little cosmic playground.

due to the nature and scope of their abilities, and their immortality, they were mostly aware that their exploits were relatively infinitesimal. they had a very acute awareness that every planet and galaxy they created would eventually crumble.

similarly to their attitudes towards each other, the attitudes they held towards their creations varied. some liked to stay disconnected, and hopped from creation to creation, moving on as soon as they finished working on their little project. others were more involved.

in regards to their abilities, they aren't omnipotent. in fact i wouldn't even really call them omnificent. if there was a way to describe what they were able to do, it would be... transmute? the universe provided all the materials for creation, and so it was their job to use their divine power to... make something with it, really. they can't create something out of absolutely nothing. there has to be something for them to make stuff.

they also don't really have any kind of set moral compass. so none of them are inherently evil, good, bad, whatever.

of course, given the fact that they mostly reside in space (we'll get to what exactly "heaven" is in a little), they aren't necessarily bound to one physical shape or form. we love shapeshifters.

b. the devilman "god", and the prison of light 🕯️

the devilman "god" is a trio of aeons who bonded over a certainty and awareness of what they wanted from the universe. they strove to create something perfect— something beautiful. better than every other creation out there. other aeons' work was... sloppy, imperfect, and quite ugly.

as stated before, the aeons aren't necessarily physical beings. that makes it really easy for them to fuse with each other, as they aren't really bound to any kind of physics or laws governing their consciousnesses and bodies.

"so are they a hivemind" not necessarily? they're all just... fused together. the pros of fusing together like that means that one single entity now has the power of three aeons, which lets them do a lot more than if they were all separate, and on a larger scale. god is a throuple

they probably aren't the only aeon group to do this, honestly.

fun note: the devilman "god" never refers to themselves as another aeon. they always refer to themselves as a "god", and it's mainly just because they think they're better than the rest of the aeons lol. i'll be referring to them as god from here on out just because it's easier.

so, then what? god decides that they need a place for themselves. a pocket of space only for them (+ eventually, the angels). they needed a home base of sorts, a place that represented their vision as they imagined it. and so, they created heaven.

so what even is heaven? it's essentially a sub-universe, or a pocket of the universe that god hid away just for themselves.... and for the angels, which were created afterwards.

once again, i doubt heaven is the only realm of its kind. i doubt that god is the only aeon who had the idea for a "home base" of sorts.

heaven started out as a home just for god, but as angelic society grew, it eventually turned into a whole kingdom. that being said, god still has a palace Just For Them at the very top layer of it!

people don't go to heaven. nope. that doesn't happen. mainly because it's not an "afterlife".

after god created heaven and the angels, heaven because a home for all of them. heaven was created to be perfect (in the eyes of its creator), or as close to perfect as god could manage while also having a species with (sort of) free will residing within it.

heaven is almost like a hidden galaxy, except a LOTTT smaller.

heaven is mostly made up of clouds and solid energy. there are actually five layers of heaven; one for each sphere of the angelic choir, one for the Archangels, and one for god.

that isn't to say that the angels are confined to one layer. they can freely travel about, it's just that they'll usually spend time in the layer dedicated to their sphere, unless they're stationed to work elsewhere.

the need for more and more angels became more important as time went on. god became more... power hungry, and they fell harder into the belief that they alone were the ones worthy of the universe. they eventually gained a very hostile attitude towards other aeons and cosmic societies. this wasn't unheard of, really, but considering how most of them stayed in their own lanes, having god be all... aggressive was a little bit of a shock. needless to say, this resulted in the formation of enemies... and other forms of cosmic politics.

heaven and angelic culture has a lot of emphasis on architecture! ...although, not in a way you would expect. the best way i can explain it is that it's very... suess-like.

lots of staircases, lots of columns, lots of... that kind of thing...

while we're on the topic of sub-universes, we can talk a little about hell, too.

hell was actually created by the universe itself, not by the aeons or god or anything. it has always existed, and is sort of a universal collection all life and souls. sorta like the universe's garbage can for all dead things.

it’s less of an eternal resting place and more of an intermediary location you go while the universe works to basically recycle your soul and convert it back to its original state.

ii. what is an angel?: a little on angelic society

a. the angelic choir at a glance📜

angelic society as a whole is referred to as the angelic choir.

the main thing about angelic society is that it's split into different spheres based on how much power an angel has/the specific task they were made to do.

why do angels exist in the first place? they were made to be servants of god, and basically do everything that they do... for them. so, deliver messages, be soldiers, do tasks and chores and watch over the things god makes... all that kind of thing.

angels have free will, but were created with an ingrained sense of duty that usually outweighs said free will. or perhaps it influences their free will. hard to tell. that being said, most angels will not do anything if it directly contradicts their purpose.

also, angels are not inherently “good” aligned. like I said, they have free will, which means they have choices. angels can be shitty people! whether or not an angel “falls” has nothing to do with what their character is like, and everything to do with whether or not they are defiant to God.

not a lot of angels do defy god, either. an angel being kicked out of heaven is pretty rare.

anyways, back to the angelic choir... there are three spheres of angel, each with three types of angel in them. the highest ranking angels are the first order of the first sphere, and the lowest ranking are the third order of the third sphere. yeah.

in the first sphere you have the seraphim, cherubim, and thrones. the first sphere angels are the only angels that tend directly to god.

the second sphere is made up of the dominations, the virtues, and the powers.

the third sphere consists of the principalities, the arches, and the angels (generic term).

Archangels are above the first sphere in rank. they're the most powerful angels, and there aren't very many of them.

b. archangels and the angels of the first sphere🔥

Archangels, as stated before, are the most powerful angels and the ones with the most important duties. they're mostly angelic supervisors that manage angels with different specialties. who are the archangels? before lucifer's fall, there were eight different archangels.

jophiel (archangel of wisdom and inspiration), chamuel (archangel of divine justice), gabriel (archangel of revalation), raphael (archangel of healing), uriel (archangel of truth and light), zadkiel (archangel of healing), and, of course, michael (archangel of strength and courage) and lucifer (archangel of love and empathy).

the first sphere angels are the angels that are closest to god, and the only ones that can interact where with them directly. they're the least... replaceable angels, except for the archangels. that's why they don't really leave heaven.

the seraphim are the bodyguards of the throne, and those who directly guard and protect both god's palace and the different layers of heaven itself. they're stationed just about everywhere on the fifth layer of heaven, and then scattered about in the other layers just to keep an eye on everything. they're also stationed at the entrances and exits.

they're busy a LOT of the time. they take their jobs very seriously.

the seraphim are the angels that interact the most with god. the cherubim and the thrones do, too, but not as frequently.

the tradition when interacting with god is to cover their faces and bodies with their wings when interacting directly with them. it's a sort of humbling thing, to show that they regard themselves as lesser than them. just out of respect.

the cherubim are the celestial recordkeepers of heaven, and the ones that really hold the knowledge of god and heaven.

they're known for their wisdom, and they keep records of everything that happens in their part of the universe. nothing goes undocumented, really. heaven's historians are also cherubim.

along with keeping records of events, they also keep track of all of the angels that are created, and those that come in and out of heaven. and those who go out and dont come back. yeah.

jophiel is the archangel who supervises the cherubim.

the thrones are some of the most intellectual angels and have wonderful minds. they serve as both teachers, guides, and counselors for the lower ranks of the angels.

they're the ones in charge of receiving orders from god and dishing out duties to the lower ranks (dominations, mostly) and explaining them. celestial teachers, really. they're very engaged with the rest of angelic society, and are always willing to offer an explanation or a helping hand to other angels.

they're also the head order that deals with cosmic laws and making sure everything that god makes works the way it's supposed to. god doesn't really have time to keep everything in check themselves, so it's up to the thrones and the virtues to make sure their creation... functions like it should.

lucifer was supposed to the archangelic supervisor of the thrones...? but, uh... that didn't exactly.... uh.... work out....

after lucifer was cast out, jophiel was put in charge of both the thrones and the cherubim. it's a lot of work for one angel, really, but she doesn't mind.

c. angels of the second and third spheres☄️

the first order of the second sphere is the dominations. think of these guys as... well, management.

they're in charge of managing the angelic kingdoms, and of regulating the second sphere angels in lower orders.

they help keep everyone organized. there's a lot of things to keep track of.

the dominions get their orders from the thrones (who receive orders from god), and pass along orders to the principalities in the third sphere along with the virtues and powers. it's just a big chain.

zadkiel is the archangel in charge of the dominations rank. he also deals with some of the stuff that the principalities handles, but mostly sticks to dominations.

the second order of the second sphere is the virtues. if seraphim are the guards and watchers of heaven itself, then the virtues are the watchers of the universe (well, god's part of the universe, anyways).

they watch over everything god creates, from planets, galaxies, luminaries, and other celestial bodies to make sure the cosmos are in order. and that nothing is going wrong.

they work closely with certain thrones angels for this reason.

it's actually very important to make sure shit isn't going wrong. especially considering how their god's... hostile attitude... attracts some not so friendly faces.

uriel is the archangel in charge of the virtues, and because of the close ties between the virtues and the thrones, he quickly became good friends with lucifer.

the powers are the third order of the third sphere, and they make up the angelic army.

can basically be split into two groups— soldiers and healers. the soldiers were originally led by chamuel, but the job was pretty much taken over by michael once he showed up, and chamuel instead switched gears to deal more with strategizing after that. raphael supervises those more geared towards healing.

running an army is hard work, turns out. there's a lot that goes into it.

the third sphere is the most populous sphere; they're like worker bees. they're very easy to replace, and are very expendable.

third sphere angels actually leave heaven a lot. they deal with intergalactic relationships.

in the first sphere, the principalities are the main managers of the lower-ranking arches and angels. they're very similar to the dominations in that regard, and they actually get their orders from them. like i said before... it's a big chain.

they're the ones that are stuck dealing the most with cosmic politics.

arches are celestial envoys, while your everyday angels work as messengers, running back and forth between heaven and other places in space. angel postal service!

the angels and arches are also assigned most of the mundane tasks not given to any higher ranks.

usually the angels go out in groups, because there's safety in numbers, and space is REALLY big. at least one arch will accompany an angel group, and on occasion, a principality will come too, depending on how important things are.

that being said, there have been many, many instances where angels don't come back. sometimes they get lost. this happens more often than it should.

gabriel is the head messenger archangel. he's the postmaster. angel. guy.

d. okay i'll bite. what are angels made of. aka, angel physiology 🌠

angels are special. lol.

they're made of photon energy (in the case of most angels) and thermal energy (in the case of seraphim).

(lucifer is an Archangel, so he is... as stated above, made of photons.)

as stated before, god can't create something out of nothing. the energy needed to create angels actually is specific to the energy emitted from dying stars. every angel comes from the death of a star.

so, this means a couple of things. first of all, as angels are created, not born, they don't actually have a functional reproductive system. because they weren't created with the intention of reproduction. the genitalia is decorative essentially tbh. also, every angel looks like this. it's definitely not a reproductive thing. it's entirely aesthetic.

"romance" is essentially nonexistent in angel culture. uh, they all see each other as some kind of equivalent of siblings, considering they were all made directly by the same creator. they all refer to god as their parents, and so they all see each other as siblings.

(that being said, it's not like they're incapable of love or anything. ryosatanlucifer retains his feelings for akira even after he turns back into an angel, so it's not like he can't feel love or anything like that. i mean, that should be obvious, but i felt the need to specify anyways)

the second thing this: angels lack all forms of physical sensation. their bodies are... kind of numb to all sense of touch, taste, smell, etc. they are, in some circumstances, intangible. what does that mean? well...

sorry for having so much stuff from go nagai world.... we never got to see satan in the actual ovas </3

they can float through stuff sometimes. their tangibility (on earth) is actually up to them. so, for example, if they wanted to, they could float through a door. or they could open a door by turning the doorknob. though, they wouldn't be able to experience the sensation of actually touching the doorknob.

anywho. there are actual a few variations of angelic appearance depending on what rank of angel they are! i have... erm... drawn a few examples of some of the angels, but not a whole lot? ahh.... there they are anyways. some of the descriptions are a little outdated bc i've changed into since then but YEAH!!

Archangels, at the very top of the angelic choir, are beautiful with 12 large snow-white wings— two on the head, two from the shoulderblades, two on the middle back, two on the lower back, on on each arm and one on each ankle. they’re all nearly identical- though, most of the angels within each order looks nearly identical. they’re identical in the way that cats of the same coat color and breed are identical. michael and lucifer are actually identical, though, because they’re like real life twins, and are born from the same star. yeah!

seraphim are made from condensed thermal energy rather than light energy. they’re super hot. Lol. they have 10 wings (head, shoulders, lower back, arms, and ankles) unlike the Archangel’s 12. They’re warmer in color scheme than the Archangels, which are usually a sort of yellow-white color? they glow. seraphim are more red-orange because they’re… heat. They also have the ability to manifest flames out of their body, though it’s kind of just for show considering how it can't really do anything.

the cherubim are covered in eyes. or, their wings are covered in eyes- they have 8 of them! wings, I mean (head, shoulders, lower back, and ankles). they have way more than eight eyes. Also, they can open eyes up on their bodies when they get really stressed or angry! it’s a fun neat cherubim trait. all the cherubim are so tired. let them go home please.

the thrones are the third order in the first sphere of the Angelic choir, and these are our ringy-boys. they're the angels with the most emphasis on halos- they can make them spin really fast and manifest more rings around them whenever they feel strongly or honestly just when they want to. they’re usually surrounded by them, just as a sort of status thing. they typically serve as messenger angels (delivering orders to the second sphere) and bodyguards for the cherubim. they have 6 pairs of wings (head, shoulders, and lower back).

from there on out appearance is mostly dictated by sphere— second sphere angels (dominations, virtues, and powers) have two sets of wings (on the head and the shoulders), while first sphere angels (principalities, arches, and angels) have only one set of wings on their shoulders, and look pretty similar to the standard depiction of angels.

e. some more about angel culture in general

i just wanted to share some more fun little details about angel culture, because there IS stuff beyond work for these guys lol

society is really easy to be sustained when there's no need for "hard labor", and when everyone is created with a sense of purpose. and the fact that they don't really need to eat or anything.

since there isn't much of a need for extra work outside of everyone's Assigned Jobs, when there is free time, it's mostly dedicated to the arts. there's actually a LOT of focus on art in angelic culture!

though, it's a lot less... genuine? than "human art". the idea of "perfection" is heavily exalted in angelic society, mainly because that's what god wishes for, and god is the One Real Authority in their society. a lot of angelic art tries to reflect this idea of perfect beauty that they've had drilled into their heads from the beginning of their existence.

of course, perfection is unachievable for the angels. so sad.

art that depicts any kind of "flaw" is entirely unheard of. angels are the ultimate perfectionists.

since none of the angels actually LOOK at god (the archangels and first spheres cover their eyes with their wings when they come in direct contact with them), a lot of art is actually of god. it's always sort of a contest to see how perfectly and beautiful they can depict god. it's a form of worship, really.

they do have a written language. but "novels" aren't really a thing. they aren't super big on fiction. what's the point of that?

instead, they use written language to keep historical accounts, archive events, and write PSALMS. so so many psalms. they really love to write music dedicated to praising their god.

"music" in quotes, because it's... not exactly comparable to human music. it's angel music, guys. cmon.

they also like writing poetry a lot.

because of the way they worship perfection in art/writing, things end up feeling a little bit... sterile? yeah.

obviously, since they are in space, they don't use any kind of timescale similar to days/hours/weeks/etc. there's a sort of "day" equivalent in which things are a lot... brighter? but that's really it.

angels don't age, either. they have no concept of age.

they do have another consistent method of keeping time, though, and it's based on how long it takes for angels (third rank of the third sphere) to be created. lower rank angels are really being produced at a constant rate, to make up for losses, so it's easy to divide time this way. the time it takes to make one angel = one angelic "day".

they don't really have any equivalent of years, instead naming longer periods of time (ages) after whatever archangel was created last. so, the age of gabriel, or the age of uriel.

when michael and lucifer were made At the same Time, the cherubim got into a lot of arguments over who to name the age after. it wasn't like there was any way to choose between the two.

so they just decided on both eventually. lol. they called it the age of lucifer and michael.

after lucifer well, a new Age started. so the age of lucifer and michael and the age of michael are two separate time periods.

michael is sooooooooooooo cocky about that, too. what a bitch.

anyways, like stated before, the idea of perfection is super important to angels. to them, god represents the ULTIMATE perfection.

and on that same note, talking bad about god, and going against god's will, is a very big NO!!!!!!. they REALLY do not do that.

.......okay!!!!!!!! whew!

that was a LOT, but if you read all the way through... mwah! thank you so much for listening to my thoughts!!!! i might make a separate post about lucifer's history/his relationships with the other angels/his fall later on. but for now.... here's just some basic stuff about angels and how they work!!! yeah!!!!!

[digitalvoidheart]

Pixelated New Moon - New Moon Ending (Ending-1)

First

¤¤¤¤¤¤

Moon didn't want to leave him. He couldn't. Cross was too much of an asset. He can combat for sure, maybe heal just as well but the situation he's facing is just. Not. Helping!

Sure, Cross' explanation of why his team needs him vividly clarified the doubt, and that without him they'd go ballistic, he still wants him to come along. Just why does this stupid game only allow one player to leave?! It's not fair!

Moon started to feel overwhelmed with anger, stress and guilt. It's not fair! He will DIE if I don't get him out and it will be MY fault! I doubt anyone would want to help him with the sacrifice of their only life! It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair! It's not fair! IT'S NOT F-

"Hey, you're starting to breathe funny. Calm down" Cross' soft calming voice once again broke him from his trance of furious and berating thoughts.

How is he still calm? His life is at risk and he decides he wants to comfort Moon? A player with so much less experience and at a lower level than him?

"Why?" Moon croaked a whisper. "Why do you wanna send me back knowing full well you won't be able to go back?" By now tears began to prick his sockets.

Cross' heterochromatic eyes widened at his question, his stoic mask cracking. He paused for a while before looking down as he let out a sigh. He smiled weakly, the emotion drenched with pain and sadness that an empath like Moon could feel the tightening of the metaphorical strings tugging at his Soul near to the point of shattering.

"You have a home to return to," he finally whispered and looked up, tears running down his cheekbones. "And I don't intend on snatching that away from you."

Moon gasped at the small tension Cross' Soul relieved. Tears welling in his sockets from the pain the achromatic player felt "You deserve a second chance at this fucked up life game."

Cross shut himself up, trying to salvage the broken pieces of his tough exterior so he didn't seem vulnerable to Moon.

This was becoming a more difficult situation for Moon. He wouldn't want to be the last person to shred Cross' last sliver of hope just to get home.

Home... They were his home... and they needed him.

Just like Cross.

But how to help both?

A force pummeled into Cross' chest knocking him from his welling negative emotions. Upon looking down, he saw his cloaked companion giving him a hug.

He looks so small. The traitorous thought bubbled out. He chuckled weakly at the stupid idea in his head, too emotionally distraught to do anything than return the sweet gesture.

They remained in silence like this. For how long? Neither knew. Could've been hours or days, maybe months but by then, Cross calmed down and didn't realise when did either settle down on their knees, still in eachothers embrace. Maybe time was fucked up in here just like the world around them.

Cross didn't realise that his emotional moment had taken its toll on Moon's as well, knocking him unconscious whilst comforting Cross. As Moon's head lolled from side to side as Cross shifted his position only did he notice Moon fell asleep.

This kind player with the dilemma to save himself or Cross. He didn't want to become a burden to others.

From his monochromatic pocket, Cross fished out a "Hidden Card". He sighed. He could only hide like this- like a coward. But like all lies, the truth eventually comes out.

He filtered through his memories, on how he ended up here.

Joining a team, being forced to kill for exp, several failed attempts of destroying his "killing machine" self until his final escape in the void of this level.

He didn't bother watching his 'team' struggle, more than ready to end his unstable existence.

That is until he noticed a similar but smaller figure to his pixelate into existence beside him. He knew it wasn't right to snoop on other's businesses but... He felt it. That tug of urgency to help or get help from.

Now's not the time for walking through memory lane (or trauma lane).

Cross shook his head. He searched around Moon's small form for any sack or lumpy item containing the escape key.

Bingo.

He eventually found Moon's gold bag. Cross stood up after placing Moon down comfortably, before facing the task bar meant for Moon.

He pressed the "return" option, holding out the bag of gold. He watched as the bag glitches off of his hand and out of existence before returning just as quickly, as the bar now showed two values. One slowly increasing like that of a super fast countdown, the latter increasing just as speedy.

0

78000-

It went down and down until the values switched. While Cross waited for the values to switch, he subconsciously kept giving glances at Moon's tired form. The soft sound of the money counting down resonated through the silence.

Until it stopped.

A quick look over confirmed the switch in numbers. The numerals then glitched out of existence, in its place glitched a static-y portal which flooded the silence with its cacophonous noise.

He knew he shouldn't have. Knew that he shouldn't have listened to the voices telling him. Ordering him to look back. But being weak to orders, looked back once more at Moon.

Then turned away.

---

Moon woke up to a black space. His previous companion nowhere nearby and the thickness and heaviness a burden to even move a digit.

Looks like Cross saved himself after all, Moon thought, a melancholic smile overtook his tired face.

He knew that the opportunity was available, no threats to pass if Cross wanted to take his money and escape he guessed.

But why.

Why did it still hurt?

By the stars, he GAVE Cross the option to leave and abandon him! He knew this could happen! But why? WHY did it still hurt?!

First abandoning Nightmare and the trio, now Cross. Why does it always-

"If you think drowning me in your sadness will kill me, you're sorely mistaken" that voice...

Shifting his eyelights to the origin of sound, he almost sobbed when he saw a hint of cyan glowing softly in the darkness instead... of... Black and white...

Where was Cross? The concern rippled through him as he tried to lift his dead weight of a body on what now seemingly felt like a heavy blanket and bed.

"Not so fast, hero. Being in the Void for some time clearly took a toll on your strength." a tendril pushed Moon back to bed, the purple eyed skeleton not even fighting back, clear proof of his weakened state. "Since time acts differently here and in there, we do not know for how long you've been away. All we know is once the boys completed the tasks, you were jettisoned out of a portal. We just brought you back from the medic."

Nightmare moved closer to his line of sight, scrutinising the other both physically and emotionally. A good few minutes of staring before he scoffed, turning away.

"We're glad to have you back" he mumbled, clearly not used to showing that he cared to others.

-----

It had been weeks since the previous level and fiasco with the Void. While the rest of the team was a bunch of curious cats, Moon refused to speak of his interactions and story while there, and they respected that... Reluctantly.

But Moon did seem to change while with the others. He was more cheerful and supportive, rather than being depressed (Nightmare is glad for it even if it makes him gag).

Moon, never forgot his Void companion, Cross, either. The crumpled and creased note in his cloak pocket now acting as his Ikigai and duty.

*******

Hey Moon. If you're reading this, it means you're safe in the real world. I'm glad you're ok.

This message is also to tell you, that I'm now in a better place and I'm glad I spoke to someone like you before my departure. Thank you for being a kind person and someone who willingly sacrificed their life for mine even when I didn't deserve it for becoming a killing machine.

I have a small favour to ask of you. Promise me you won't feel bad. This was my decision. I almost took up your offer to leave you behind. I'm sorry I almost left you to die.

But with what you taught me in that little amount of time, I knew you deserve to live and show that you can do so much more than I can.

So promise me to not be sad and show your team, the world what you can do. I believe in you.

Good bye

-Cross

*********

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New Moon: Where Moon leaves the Void

Ok the part after Moon falls asleep? that had to be written a bajillion times with no backup cuz tumblr was being a complete douche to me. I finally decided to sit my butt down and finish it off before I lose my motivation eternally

But poor Cross... Tbh I almost made the ending a sad one where Moon takes his own life because of regret but I'm too tired to do that and I have 2 more endings.

They may not be as long but be on the look out for em!

[ace-in-a-shopping-cart]

The Second-Hand Bookstore

Credit for idea goes to @starry-knight-skies. I also got a bit carried away with it, oops.

Summary: Logan owns a  bookstore in a small town. Virgil is a vampire. Nuff said.

Word Count:  2,219

Main Taglist: (Send an ask to be added or removed!) @starlocked01​​​ @spoopy-turtle​​​ @lizluvscupcakes​​ @more-fandon-than-friends​, @i-cant-find-a-good-username, @vindicatedvirgil, @star-crossed-shipper, @justaqueercactus

Logan walked down the stairs and did a once over of the store. He checked the shelves for dust, made sure any misplaced books were put back, and that everything was generally where it should be. He did this routine every time he closed up as well but never knew if his exhaustion clouded his judgement or if he missed anything. Being ready for business, he went and unlocked the front door.

The shop was a little out of the way second-hand bookstore so he didn’t expect many visitors so early in the morning. Only, there was a customer that came in almost as soon as Logan sat down behind the cash register.

The man was dressed in black jeans, a black hoodie with purple patches and white stitching, and a ripped purple shirt. His hood was up when he walked in and he didn’t even seem to pause to adjust his eyes, he just went straight to browsing. Having nothing better to do, Logan watched the customer. 

The man ran his hand along the spines in a way that both suggested he was looking for something but also that he was greeting old friends. Logan wondered if the man had read any of them before. The man walked deeper, a smile flitting across his face as he saw some of the titles. He chuckled at one point, pulling a book off the shelf with a muttered, “I didn’t know this still existed.”

Logan smiled, loathe to break the silence. The book was put back on the shelf as the man continued wandering down the aisle. He got to the back section where Logan kept the older books and his posture changed. He seemed to gain more energy and Logan could imagine his eyes lighting up. His fingers ran along the spines in a gentle and loving way that made Logan think of greeting long lost friends or family unseen for a while.

The door rang and Logan turned, ready to help the next customer. Thoughts of the other customer were pushed to the back of his mind as he was told of a specific book this one was looking for. Logan had to order it but told them it would be there soon. 

When his attention returned to the back aisles, the stranger wasn’t there. Logan’s eyes scanned the tiny store for him, sure he hadn’t gone out the door. He found him curled up in the corner chair, a content smile on his face as he read the book in his hands. Logan wasn’t close enough to read the title.

The day went on and Logan kept up with the now steady trickle of customers coming in. He paid no mind to the customer at the back who was steadily working his way through Logan’s whole astronomy section. That is, until he went on his lunch break and approached the man. 

Logan smiled. “Hi, I couldn’t help but see that you’re going through the whole section on stars.”

The man looked up, a sheepish expression on his pale face. He had dark bags under his eyes that suggested he got little sleep the night before. “Sorry, is that not allowed?”

Logan shook his head. “No, it’s perfectly fine. I was just wondering if you wanted to come talk about constellations while I grab lunch.”

His eyes widened as he put the book down, not even bothering to mark his place. “Really?”

Logan nodded. “Only if you want to.”

He nodded, standing to dwarf Logan by a few inches. Logan led the way out the door, turning the sign to lunch break and locking the door on the way out. “Do you have a preference for a place to eat?”

The man paused, a brief expression of panic crossing his face before it smoothed out. “No, I don’t.”

Logan nodded, humming thoughtfully as they walked down the street. “How about Subway?”

Thus, they sat in a booth and talked about the stars, bonding over the stories they knew of them and laughing when they came up with ones for the constellations they forgot. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Virgil had entered that bookstore that day to get out of the morning sun that stung his eyes. He hadn’t expected to find a spectacled man sitting at a counter, following him with his eyes. He hadn’t expected to run across books written by friends, written by him under a different name. Books that felt like friends simply because of the part of his life he was going through when he’d read it. His mind wandered back to his father’s words, spoken so long ago now: “If you keep your memories in books, you will never forget.” 

Out of all the books, he hadn’t expected to run into ones he’d owned at one point in his life, hadn’t expected to be able to pull it off the shelf and read the notes he’d scribbled into the margins, to see the tear stains on some of the pages, hadn’t expected to be hit with the smell of books that never changes, no matter what century he was in. 

He hadn’t expected to take the trip down memory lane right into his old profession, to be met with almost a wall of books written about stars. He smiled, eyes lighting with a life he hadn’t felt in a long time, and browsed. He saw books written by long dead colleagues, himself, teachers, mentors, students of his, students of his students, and so on. 

He hadn’t expected to be coming face to face with the charming man at the counter, who had been watching him the whole time, asking if he wanted to go eat lunch with him. He didn’t have the heart to tell him he couldn’t eat anymore, just went along with it for the sake of seeing him smile again the way he saw out of the corner of his eye. 

When asked for his preference for a place to eat his eyes grew wide at the thought of ‘the park’ that sprang to his mind. 

He surely didn’t expect to come back, this time in a leather jacket covering a shirt of a band that had long since broken up, purple fishnet gloves and sunglasses perched on his head, all paired with the same jeans as before. He didn’t expect to be spending most of the day talking with Logan, didn’t expect to be purchasing a bunch of the astronomy books he’d written a hundred years ago. 

When he had walked down those stairs and through the door into that store that day to get out of the heat, he had expected very few things. In return, he managed to gain so much more. He had shut himself off from people after the last person he’d thought was his friend had tried to sell him for his fangs. 

He found himself growing closer to Logan, smiling in his presence, almost showing his fangs multiple times. He enjoyed talking with him to the point that he almost let his guard down. He didn’t notice how close they’d gotten until he found himself sitting on a couch, an old show running in the background as Logan was curled up against his side, fast asleep. There were times when Virgil missed the need for sleep, the slipping into oblivion for a few precious hours, but right now he wouldn’t give up his vampiric nature for the world.

He felt Logan shift against him, settling deeper against his side. Virgil stretched his arm out, being careful to not move the rest of his body. He picked up the remote to turn the television off, grabbing the book sitting beside it before settling back into his seat. One arm was slung over Logan’s back and he unconsciously started rubbing his back, fingers threading through Logan’s hair as he read by the dim light of the lamp next to him. 

A few more weeks passed and Virgil knew he should start to get moving again. He normally didn’t like staying in the same place for long, the centuries he’d lived having instilled a wanderlust in him. His only regret at this point was having to leave Logan. He’d grown fond of the human in their time together, to the point that his heart stuttered sometimes when he saw him.

He was all packed and ready to go, his motorcycle waiting on the curb. Yet, here he was, standing in front of the door to Logan’s second-hand bookstore. He took a deep breath and pushed it open, listening to the jingle of the bell for maybe the last time. “Logan?” He called when he didn’t see him at the front desk.

“Back here!” His voice answered from the back room. 

Virgil followed and found himself in the back room. He walked over and took the box Logan was struggling to lift. “Where do you need it?”

Logan huffed, hands resting on the small of his back. “In the front, I need to reload some of the shelves.” Virgil just nodded and did as he was told.

He put it off, spending more and more time with Logan until the sun had set, the perfect time to be on the open road, and Logan was inviting him up for a dinner he couldn’t eat. He sat at the table, hands reaching to twist the tablecloth between his fingers, trying to get out the anxious energy he could feel building up in his gut. Finally, he took a steadying breath and spoke. “I’m leaving tonight.”

Logan turned to look at him, playfulness dancing in his eyes behind his glasses. “I didn’t intend for you to stay the night.”

Virgil shook his head, feeling bravery mix with the anxiety. “I mean, I’m leaving town tonight.”

Logan paused, turning the burner off before coming to stand beside Virgil. “Why?”

Virgil shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Logan nodded, resting a hand on the table. “Is it something I did?”

Virgil was quick to shake his head, even as he felt his walls try to rebuild to brace against the heartbreak he knew was coming. “No, of course not. It’s nothing either of us did. It’s just something that happens every once in a while.”

Logan hesitated. He swallowed and Virgil tried not to show that his eyes were drawn to the vein in his neck. After a long pause, Logan spoke. “If this is about you being a vampire, I already know.”

Virgil startled, his head jerking back just a bit. “How?”

Logan chuckled, eyes rising to lock with Virgil’s own. “How many spoons do I have?”

Virgil didn’t even have to think about it. “Twenty five.”

Logan nodded. “The compulsion to count arbitrary things, the lack of actual eating, you always being awake no matter when I wake up if you stay over.” He sighed, exasperated. “Virgil, you came in with blood still on your chin one time, for goodness sake!”

Virgil swiped at his chin, checking for blood there. Eventually, he nodded, moving to stand. “Alright. I guess I should be going then.”

Logan put a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him down into the chair. “Why are you trying to leave me? I just told you I don’t care that you’re a vampire.”

Virgil huffed, leaning forward to put his forearms on the table. “I don’t age as fast as you do, Logan. By the time you’re old, I’ll only look a few years older than I do now. Besides, people will be suspicious that I don’t age.” He held up a hand, pausing whatever thought Logan was going to share. “Before you say it, I can’t just turn you. You’d be able to be with me, yes, but you’d also have to move every few decades as well. You’d never see this bookstore again. Is that what you really want? To move like you’re on the run, having to watch your every step?” Virgil shook his head, letting his bangs fall into his face. “I don’t want that for you.”

Logan put a hand over Virgil’s. “What if I could give you a reason to stay?”

Virgil looked up at him, hope bubbling below the surface, desperate to breach. “What do you mean?”

Logan smiled. “You do realize that half this town is full of vampires, right?”

Virgil leaned toward him, hand gripping his gentle but forceful at once. “Explain.”

“Half of the town is vampires, the other half is humans that know of them. Heck, my own great uncle is still here and he doesn’t look older than I do. Why do you think my store has such old books? People still read them, still enjoy them. None of them treasure them the way you do, nor do they greet them like old friends like you do, but they still remember the books from their times as humans. I want to be with you, Virgil. You don’t have to leave, you don’t have to run anymore.”

Virgil felt tears gather at the corners of his eyes as the realization that this could be home set in. Logan's arms came around his shoulders, offering comfort. Virgil smiled through his tears. “You’d really have me?”

A kiss was pressed to his temple. “Fangs and all.”

Virgil chuckled. “Fangs and all.” He echoed softly.